I had a weird but wonderful thing happen to me last night. I bumped into an ex-boyfriend I hadn't seen in 9 years. [This guy was a real jerk and a loser, but for some reason I kept going out with him anyway, from about age 16 to about age 22. I persisted because he had a really sad family story and I (incorrectly) figured that if somebody cared about him, he'd start to care about himself. Well, eventually, I got fed up and went on with my life.]
Now I see this guy last night (now a successful chef), and he pulls me aside and tells me that he's been thinking a lot about me in the last few months, and it's been bothering him, and he had promised himself that if he ever saw me again he'd apologize to me for everything mean he ever did and said to me. He said "you cared about me so much and I was really mean." [He is right.] He also told me that he's a different person now. )He also appeared to be checking me out, so I made sure to mention that I am married. )
I have to say, that was a wonderful moment. (And not just because he is now large and bald and I'm married to a cute guy.) Because not only was I validated, but it seems that there had been some semblance of a human being in there, after all. After wondering if he had said that as part of a 12-step program, I did say that yes, he was really mean back then, but it was thoughtful and unexpected of him to realize that and apologize for it, and I accept his apology.
It's the kind of thing that has my brain going today...not just because of the fact that even this total loser has managed to become relatively respectable, but it gets me wondering about "people you've known in your life who you wish would apologize to you for something, and/or people you have wronged in your life and want to apologize to someday." (Kinda like Keifer Sutherland in the movie "Flatline.")
Remember folks, OUR PARENTS are the obvious ones...I mean people outside your family.
I'd apologize to the Swedish student in third grade, Christine. I was pretty mean to her. I asked her if she wanted to go on a scavenger hunt, and put little notes all over the playground that just kept her looking all around for nothing, and I invited every kid in the whole class to my birthday party that year except for her.
The only major outstanding apology I'd need, came last night.