Well I think it's a bit more complicated than asking for a refund...lol and frankly I don't think he wants one....not for his son Pete, who's the apple of his eye....and the love of his life.
I will add though, that his comments on FB were prompted by his disillusionment with the rather strange way his relationship/marriage ended....and the timing and circumstances involved.
After all, if you had been pursued by a young woman who went out of her way to locate you (writing provocative fan letters and such) and desirous of meeting you, whilst you were feeling isolated and depressed, living alone, in obscurity & recovering from the divorce you just had (due to catching your wife out having an affair with another man) and pondering your life, feeling disillusioned, unloved, and lonely, wouldn't you be intrigued enough to agree to a meeting?
And then to your surprise, when after a few visits and meetings with this woman (26 years your junior) you found yourself tempted and allowed yourself to be seduced and start to 'feel again' (against all your instincts and common sense that were telling you to nip this in the bud, due to the age difference) which you never thought would happen.
This rejuvenated his damaged ego and instilled in him a sense of self worth at a time he was feeling like an old 'has been'.
When this young woman fell pregnant, after a short space of time, and decided to have his child, Phil felt impelled to pack up & sell his residence, buying a house closer to her chosen location (near her family and friends).
Then to support the situation & pursue this relationship (that happened 'out of the blue' and seemed like a godsend) he worked his butt off for the money, in an area that he didn't particularly enjoy (ie TV composing for shows like Good Guys Bad Guys & Stingers) He commuted an hour there and back every day, 7 days a week at times,working extremely long hours to make sure his partner and child was looked after and loved and catered for.
Sacrificing his artistic pursuits in order to have the family life he always craved, ( and feeling that for once in his life, he'd made the right emotional choice and decision and had a partner he could trust, forge a life and grow old with) was worth it all.
After being together for a mere 4 yrs, having had established a home and feeling secure in his relationship (and having a beautiful son of approx 2 1/2 yrs old) Phil decided to make things formal and get married (for the 3rd time) and to bring his elderly parents over from NZ.
Whilst in NZ he experienced a major blow and insult from Tim Finn. On Eddie's suggestion and encouragement, he came along with Eddie Raynor to the soundcheck/rehearsal for the 30yr Split Enz reunion, unannounced, feeling happy and on top of the world with news of his imminent wedding.
Well that was a disaster leaving Phil feeling dejected. Although Neil Finn was excited at his presence and welcoming, as well as other members of the Enz present, Tim was mealy mouthed and not enthused about his presence.
Everyone but Tim wanted Phil to join in on stage, but due to Phil's sensitivity of the adverse feelings he experienced from Tim, he left feeling sad.
It put a dampener on his trip.
On his arrival back,Phil and Olivia were married at their home on June 8 2002.
A few months later Olivia filed for divorce.
The rest is history.
Under these circumstances any human being would be bitter and disillusioned when their world is turned upside down.
In respect to your statement Fluidity, there are two sides to every story and one shouldn't assume that Phil's attitude is there without good reason.
His views on women are very coloured by his personal experiences of betrayal and heartache.
Being a woman (and a feminist to boot), I find that one must also take into account the psychological perspective of another's viewpoint and how their opinions and attitudes have been formed.
You'll have to read the book...lol
Cheers for now