Nowhere near finished and needs alot of work. So far I have a verse and a chorus......perhaps. No music yet, but give it time.

You sing my dirty creature to the bottom of the lake.
A curse upon my wretched life, your gentle voice can break.
I found you when I needed you, 'neath Sydney's blinding light.
You took me to a better place, brought colour to my sight.

This love could send me crazy
This love could leave me sane
To consumate my passion
In the thunder, fire and rain.

I would liken you

To a night without stars

Were it not for your eyes

To a sleep without dreams

Were it not for your songs (Langston Hughes)

What else is love for

But to leave you wanting more? (Tim Finn)

My Digital Art, Poetry & Lyrics

Original Post
quote:
Originally posted by Keep My Mind Of You:
Good poem Sarah! Any poetry that many people can concoct a million different meanings to stirs my pot anyday! It saves the hassle of making a movie or book or song about every single person on Earth.

Thankyou, Keep My Mind Of You, but I have not gone by the name of "Sarah", since I was 22 years old and a model. Dumb question it may seem (I'm blonde) but are you psychic?
Out on a limb here, but my whole family have the gift to a certain extent. I could tell you some very freaky stories about my late father and his premonitions. Let me just say this: My own "gift" could be 1000 times sharper, if I had never taken drugs. I am NOT implying ANYTHING by saying this, so please don't take offence. Smiler
Not a psychic, but a novice mystic. What do you know about Carl Jung? I read randomly he experienced the concept of synchronicity quite a lot in his time, which was before the advent of satellites, mass communication & mobile phones. Dare I say, the stuff I read about him predicated the concept of George Orwell's 1984 & Big Brother, which spawned of classic postmodern films such as Jim Carey's The Truman Show.

I'll give you a rough example. Carl Jung met in a European city he had not been to before, a colleague he met half a lifetime earlier...was it random chance, chaos theory, pure meaningless co-incidence? That my frenz I believe is the master debate that we, as a human species must sink our intellectual teeth into. Rock on parapsychology!

Big waves rock the boat
Pull myself into the mystic
Singer's gonna find a note
Real enough to make a difference so
Tell Me C'mon
Lead me to the stage
Make a big idea wanna leap of the page
Help me work it out
We're the only ones who knows
What the words are about
A storm's about to break
Here is something real you can hold onto


Finn Brothers 2005
quote:
Originally posted by italianplastic2:
Great!
I love the lyrics!, now Ive found myself making a little chord sequence to go along Big Grin

Then what are we waiting for? Get me over to NZ RIGHT NOW and let's colaberate! Big Grin Wink
I will keep working on it. I have been somewhat creatively dried-up over the past few days. I have to remind myself of Bryce Courtnay's assertion that, "Writing is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration". I just so miss my early 20s at the conservatorium, when I would regularly stay up all night writing music.
Ok, verse 1 re-write:
You sing my dirty creature to the bottom of the lake.
A curse upon my wretched life, your gentle voice can break.
Your burning constellation brings my darkened sky to light.
A breath of inspiration, drawing colour to my sight.


Much better, methinks. Smiler Hopefully now I can move on and write the rest of the song. I had had just a little too much to drink when I posted the 1st draft and was thinking the next day, "Geez, you could have worked that more before airing it in public", but you know what? It is a process, which I actually feel quite comfortable sharing around here. Smiler
Sarah Dee, I like the way you juxtapose/dichotomize the controversial colour/racial imagery in your use of the words light/dark, burning/breath. That's the key to success in poetry/song lyrics etc, to rock the world's conventions & pre-set ''cliche'' meanings from one line to the next, so all sides die happpy, this is the last chance you got to do it now!
Sarah Dee, I like the way you juxtapose/dichotomize the controversial colour/racial imagery in your use of the words light/dark, burning/breath. That's the key to success in poetry/song lyrics etc, to rock the world's conventions & pre-set ''cliche'' meanings from one line to the next, so all sides die happpy, this is the last chance you got to do it now!
I think I have a 2nd verse, but will keep working on it, picking it to bits....then maybe some music?

The crying child I sought to drown, my foot upon her head
Came swimming to the surface, claiming never to be dead
The cynical indifference, I played so convincingly
It came undone, should I go on denying part of me
quote:
Originally posted by Keep My Mind Of You:
Dear Diary, I see hidden between the lines you are longing for a newborn child.

You must be kidding! Nothing against children -and I have been thinking about them quite a bit today, perhaps that's what you picked up on- but I would make the world's worst mother, I am convinced of it. I have trouble enough taking proper care of me.
Ok, what I was referring to was the person I was in my early 20s; flighty as all hell, a total bleeding heart. I thought that person was lost and gone forever, but apparently not. Wink
quote:
Originally posted by aFINNity: You must be kidding!

I jest not!

quote:
Ok, what I was referring to was the person I was in my early 20s; flighty as all hell, a total bleeding heart.

I hit the page that you thought about. So I drew in the frost on the window pane. Still a young woman: eyes on the clock - tick like a motor running out?
quote:

I hit the page that you thought about. So I drew in the frost on the window pane. Still a young woman: eyes on the clock - tick like a motor running out?

You are right that I feel time running out, but not for having kids. I feel the time running out for fulfilling my potential in other areas. My mother had my youngest brother at age 42, without any issues whatsoever, so I have a good 9 years, should I change my mind about that one. Creativity is a form of firtility, but somehow I don't think I need to tell you that. Smiler
Edited to say that having said all that, what should come to me, but a 2nd chorus (?)

Some people think me crazy
Over broken glass I'd crawl
To be there in your presense
For your song, your voice, your soul
OK, so I'm reasonably satisfied with my lyrics. Here they are in entirity, for the sake of easy reading:

You sing my dirty creature to the bottom of the lake.
A curse upon my wretched life, your gentle voice can break.
Your burning constellation brings my darkened sky to light.
A breath of inspiration, drawing colour to my sight.

This love could send me crazy
This love could leave me sane
To consumate my passion
In the thunder, fire and rain
Am I another phoenix, who was born inside your flame
Will I ever fly again?

The crying child I sought to drown, my foot upon her head
Came swimming to the surface, claiming never to be dead
The cynical indifference, I played so convincingly
It came undone, I can't go on denying part of me

Some people think me crazy
Over broken glass I'd crawl
To be there in your presense
For your song, your voice, your soul
Am I another phoenix, who was born inside your flame
Will I ever fly again?


Now for the music, which is where I am going to have a vent:
It is so F@#$ING FRUSTRATING, trying to write a song with no keyboard! All I have is a crappy little bit of early 90s software, which makes the process even slower. I have been without a keyboard, ever since my ex hocked it for a drug deal 8 years ago. Perhaps I should work on a melody and take it from there, find someone who has a keyboard..... I'm just so crying with joy that it is happening again, after a very extended dry patch (try Nevada frickin Desert, without the buried bodies!)
quote:
Originally posted by Keep My Mind Of You:
quote:
Originally posted by aFINNity:
Over broken glass I'd crawl


Good to see you are cross-referencing the Loose Tongue lyrics from Neil's TWT solo disc! The house was falling down because of my...

I will put that down to sheer coincidence, as I do not yet own that album, though I am familiar with certain tracks off it.
quote:
Originally posted by aFINNity:
I have been without a keyboard, ever since my ex hocked it for a drug deal 8 years ago.


Do you have any neighbours that have a piano? When I stayed in Sydney with my ex-GF's parents, I overheard a teenage girl's piano from the opposite house. She used to play the sweetest tunes, albeit covers of famous pieces. I think from memory she looked Icelandic or Chinese. So if you can hook up with a neighbour who plays piano, why not give it a whirl! Smiler I think I can draw from memory, Neil Cornelius Finn had a piano teacher/mentor/neighbour when he was weeny teenybopper in NZ!
quote:
Originally posted by italianplastic2:
I may post a little recording of what ive got Smiler
Remember im only 12 Wink

Please do! No song is ever finished. So, you're a child prodigy? I wrote my 1st song at 11 -it was all about some 28YO I had a crush on, pretty sad.
So I see why you're not offering to fly me over to NZ then. Wink Big Grin
My back hurts from sitting at the computer for four hours . I have been working on the song, eating up the clock...wow, I cannot begin to describe how good it feels to be "back in the saddle". Now all I need is to get my voice back. Might ask my doc about Champix.....
Lovely words Ms. aFINNity!

I can so relate to the "dry patch" thing...what finally got me out of mine was an online songwriting challenge called "February Album Writing Month" (http://fawm.org). The goal is to write 14 songs during the 28 days of February. There's a very supportive group of folks around the world participating (so far 53 from Australia).

Check it out! You might find someone who you can collaborate with -- to put the music to you wonderful words...

Smiler
Thankyou, I'm wanting to accept the challenge:

I trusted you
I lusted after something dangerous
A stranger just waiting to take down my name
You raged in my blood
From the 1st time I kissed him
A poison I had to get out of my system


I'm onto something here....
Ok, the song of the OP, which I have named "Phoenix" is pretty much done. I have arranged it for percusion, bass, keyboard and vocal, plus an accoustic guitar, which I wouldn't even try to imitate via midi. I have outlined the basic chords and will tell whoever ends up playing it to go for their life.
Pleae keep in mind the limitations of midi, which also replaces the vocal line. My voice is in bad shape and I have no proper recording set-up at home. Here it is:
PHOENIX.MID
Passion (Why Why Cry)

I trusted you
I lusted after something dangerous
A stranger just waiting to take down my name
You raged in my blood
From the 1st time I kissed him
A poison I had to get out of my system

Why, why cry?
A fool can see you're just another guy.

Why is it always competition?
"Look what I can get!"
Rub me in your best friend's face
And he's your best friend yet
Dirty little schoolboys like to gloat behind the shed
Your best friend called me yesterday
With everything you said

So Why, why cry?
When I can see you're just another guy.

Suckin sour grapes
Just eat them!
Break'em down
Cos you can't beat them!

2nd Chorus Repeats

And it's all very well to cry now(
x5)



I think I will accept that challenge, cydsongs.Wink
I hope the Enz/PJ quote at the end justifies my continuing this here. Otherwise please tell me and I'll jump it to All I Ask
You just hurt me constantly you see.
As a result we are now ex-friends forever lost so blatantly.
Can't you ever dare, read or be:
Me me me ? ? ?
Memorise, adore & worship:
Thee thee thee ? ? ?
I try & try; yet win no-one.
I just pray: chances are it's futile.
Much like a war of the worlds destroying missile.

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