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Hi all, I'm a journalist with Radio New Zealand in Auckland.

I'm keen to hear from fans (preferably within Australia/NZ because of the time zone differences) on the topic of Paul Hester's passing (for radio purposes, I'd need to record your comments via the phone)

If anyone's interested in making a comment, just post a reply with your phone number and name, and I'll give you call.

Many thanks,
Paul, may it always be sunny where you are now. May the rain be sweet, and the wind be fresh, may the dew always be cool on your feet.

I knew you in New Zealand, you and the Finns helped me to grow up, I sat with you all in Christchurch a couple of times at the same table.

I wish I could have spoken to you, to tell you the life is ****, the people are dumb, and that no one in Melbourne knows how to merge. If you heard it from someone else, maybe you would be with us today.

Good bye Paul, and the fondest of memories, your music lives on forever in my mind.

The Enz didnt, the house was never crowded and Paul was always welcome here.

My thoughts now go to the family. During this time I hope you can grow the courage to continue past the suffering. Niel, Tim, be Kiwis true. Be there for them as they are part of the family that makes us what we are.

Love always, a devoted fan.
Edward Hore
expat Kiwi now living in Preston, Melbourne.
This is my first post to this or any other fan site.

I didn't know Paul hester and I never met him. But I did see him play twice with split enz and four maybe five times with crowded house.

Most Crowded House (i.e Neil Finn) songs are introspective: They contemplate love that didn't work, pain, failing and insecurity (among, of course, other things). It was, then, a revelation that Crowded House gigs were usually so amusing and upbeat.

I can't recall a gig that didn't feature Paul Hester's chirpy, nasal twang (at least to a kiwi's ears) piping up between numbers to ask Neil an off-the-wall question, or to challenge a particular audience member to come up and sing or undress or dance or kiss Nick.

Without Paul Hester's input Crowded House would have been a very different band, and probably a lesser one -- I think it is as simple as that.

All i can hope is that Paul's need to be gone was greater than the need his two daughters will inevitably feel for their father.

Kia Kaha to all those suffering following Paul's suicide.
My heart is so heavy and my tears sting my cheeks in an endless river ever since reading this bitter news...
To Paul's family, love, peace and strength to cope through this painful time...
To are already deeply missed...don't dream it's's only a temporal gap in time.

A heartfelt hug from one grieving fan to every other grieving fan out there.
Originally posted by Jinglebelle:
[qb]tears sting my cheeks in an endless river[/qb]
You're not the only one now...I've been listening to Crowded House's music for the past few minutes, and "Don't Dream It's Over" just ended, and...yeah...there were tears. I don't mean to make anyone sadder than they already are by saying that-I'm sorry if I did Frowner .

The news has just spread like an infectious virus. I think the one good thing out of all this coverage that can come out of this is that it brings people together to discuss it and help alleviate the pain. It's been a pretty heavy day for me, so I think i'll finish up here. While i'll keep Paul in my thoughts, I need to begin to accept that these are the events that have taken place, like them or not.

However, I am proud to say that also as a fan of Shaun Micallef, the Micallef fan club has infact paid a tribute to Mr. Hester by expressing their condolences on the front page at This Link
Like everyone...I am so shocked and saddened by the news and just felt I had to post. I too am lucky to say that I met Paul during the Enz With a Bang tour. He just walked out into the foyer of the Entertainment Centre after the sound check and spoke to a handful of us girls, signing autographs and posing for photos. He's the only famous person I have met and I have been forever grateful for those 5 x minutes or so he spent with us.

Split Enz & CH have been my lifeline since 1979 -> I have been to many concerts and always came away from them on a natural high especially when Paul was on stage. He was such a character, so full of energy and humour, an absolutely amazing entertainer.

Just seeing how he touched all our hearts, I can't fathom the deep loss and void which must be felt amongst his family, friends and peers. My heart goes out to his 2 x little girls and his girlfriend -> It's truly a tradgedy.

Thankyou so much Paul for enriching our lives with your wonderful, kind hearted generous spirit. You will be truly missed but always remembered with a smile.
It's all over European media as well, radio and newspapers. Radio 1 in Belgium played Sister Madly because, presenter Nick Balthazar said, Paul's drumming is so good on it. "There's a bit more space in the Crowded House," he added, "but it's a bit more crowded in our heart." Nice.

My thoughts go out to all those close to Paul. These are tough times.
I am so sad that Paulo couldn't pop into the future before he made his decision, and seen the outpouring of grief and tributes both here and elsewhere online. I'd like to think that he would have changed his mind, but we could never be sure.

Just the other day I was discussing baby names with my other half (am due with a mini-Finn-Fan in August), I thought that "Bella" would be such a great name if its a girl, because of having Italian Plastic to listen to as they grew up.

"When you wake up with me
I'll be your glass of water
When you stick up for me
Then you're my Bella Bambina, uh-huh"

It totally spooked me out thinking back to this after yesterday's news.

I have made so many frenz because of Crowded House - a special group of people.
I've been with relatives for the easter break, and as such, between all the noise and excitement Easter (and chocolate) generates in my large extended family, I didn't hear about Paul.
I got home, turned on the news and was watching Dreaming: the Videos when Crowded House was mentioned (I had been half-listening) turned out just as Paul on the Something So Strong video did that cartwheel, I heard he'd died.
As Molly Meldrum said, he had a distinctive drumming style which gave the House some of that special sound. I've always thought of him as the joker of the House, and that moment of the cartwheel is now immortalised in my memory.
It's unbelievable, he was so alive, so happy, so silly in those vidoes and now he's dead of suspected suicide.
My heart goes out to everyone who knew him or of him in any way. The world has lost a wonderful person.
In particular, my condolences to his friends and family, particularly his daughters. Not being so long since I was in pre-teens, and as a teenager I cannot imagine how it would have been without a father.
Rest in peace, Paul Hester, you shall never be forgotten by friends and family and a world-wide database of Split Enz and Crowded House fans. Frowner
So very sad Frowner I have been a fan since Split Enz, then Crowded House (met him at the Thebarton Theatre in Adelaide) and was recently watching him on my eldest son's Wiggles DVD singing "Fruit Salad". He seemed so full of life, I guess you never really know the real person. His contribution has been great and he will be truly missed. Such a frustrating illness to suffer which often has such a tragic outcome.
"Feeling devastated, that's what I call.
Living in your memory, that's what I call.
Tired and deflated, that's what I call.

'That's What I Call Love' - Paul & Neil 1986

Paul, you were an inspiration.
Your humour, passion and unique style will forever live on.

My thoughts and best wishes go out to all your
family and friends and may you rest in peace.
"Of all the friends I've ever had, they're sorry for my going away,
and all the sweethearts that I could have had, they wish me one more day to stay,
but since it falls unto my lot that I should go and you should not,
I'll gently rise and softly call, goodnight and joy be with you all."
-- the parting glass (traditional)

seeya paulo. thanks for all the fish.
I awoke this morning to check my email and discover the tragic news about Paul.

I went to work and was very sad and distracted all day.

I came home and the nightly news confirmed the awful truth.

My sympathy to Paul's girls, Neil and Nick and Split Enz

As a wise man once said "Don't dream it's over."

You will be sadly missed Paul

Bel Confused Frowner
I have been a Crowded House fan and Split Enz fan throughout my adult life and Paul was always my fave band member. His love of life and sense of humour shone thru in all interviews, videos, and live performances. I always focused on Paul during the many concerts I attended, finding his particular love of the performance and the theatrical always added to my enjoyment, somehow you were sharing his infectious enthusiasm and it made the experience all the more personal. At the same time, I was vaguely aware that he was someone who suffered from some dark times, something I have sadly been too familiar with through my partner's family.

I was overcome this morning to hear that he had felt low enough to take his life. My heart goes out to his family and closest friends who will struggle to come to terms with his untimely passing. At the same time, Paul must have been at a very low ebb to feel this was his only recourse. Each person takes their own path and we must respect their choices.

A song that has always brought me to tears and now I cannot erase from my brain, sadly the dream is over but the many wonderful and funny memories remain.

Paul Hester RIP xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I hadn't been online over the weekend and just logged onto the frenz forum this morning and was totally stunned to read the news about Paul. I'm sitting here in a state of shock, not quite believing what I'm reading.

My heart goes out to his partner and two young daughters, and to all his family and friends.

I got quite a shock when I looked on Ninemsn and saw a picture of Paul with the sub headding, "Paul Hester Mourned"
I had to look at the picture again, and look for more to tell me what they were talking about.
I can't believe how upset i am over this.
For me a Lover of Australian Music, Crowded House are like Australian Music Royalty, and to lose one of the members so suddenly, and shockingly just hurts so much.
I guess this is how some people felt when John Lennon was shot, or when Curt Cobain was found dead.

Rest In Peace Paul.
"I hope you were dreaming of glory miles above"

Nathan Ashe.
Am due to go see the Finns at the Royal Albert Hall tonight. Just called the venue, they're going ahead tonight "definitely", but other nights sound a bit more shakey.

Not looking forward to it at all at this point. Talk about an emotional evening. Would have crippled them financially I think to have pulled out at the last minute though.

Will post summary of evenings events tomorrow.

I am gutted and can't quite believe it. There are no words except "why?".

My thoughts are with Mardi and the girls. I hope you found what you were looking for Paul. Your music and your humour is what I will always remember.

Rest in peace.

"Maybe the day will come,
when you never have to feel no pain.
After all my complaining,
gonna love this life"
It's hard to express the sadness I feel - thinking about how bad he must have felt to take such action - I feel for his partner and children.

Paul, to me you were funny, gorgeous, gregarious, intelligent, charming, witty, an incredibly talented showman and a consummate performer. My favourite memories are of watching you on the Molloy show and Hessie's Shed. No-one could make me laugh like you. And although today you made me cry, I'll raise a glass for you.

I hope wherever you are you have left your demons behind.

The world is a much better place for having had you in it.

I am completely dumbfounded at Paul's death, as many of us are. I'd like to share my memories which I hope will bring some peace and some sort of acceptance (although how that will be possible will take much time).
I'd first like to send my deepest condolences to his family, band mates, his other mates and to all of his fans.
I met Paul briefly at a concert Crowded House played in my city in the the late '80's. My friends and I were part of their fan club, and were reluctantly let in by security. Paul was most welcoming; posing for pictures with a bunch of silly teens (us). He made us feel special being in a place where we felt overwhelmed by our favorite band (and therefore must have looked ridiculous!)
I too, can credit starting my CD collection because of Crowded House and then just loving and wanting more I became a huge fan of Split Enz. I have some videos of concerts that Crowded House played, and Paul Hester just always seemed to be the fun, lively and "funny-man" of each show with (seemingly) a never ending amount of energy.
I'm not sure if this is appropriate at this point, but Paul himself sang his own song at the end of one of these concerts...perhaps we can learn or help ease our suffering from this tragedy by remembering his words:
"People don't die just cuz they're dead,
Listen UP! Take off your headsets!
*** skip to ***
I'm glad to say,
We're Still Emotional!"
And I am glad to say that we are Still Emotional. I am glad that Paul has touched our lives so significantly, in so many different ways. He'll never be forgotten by those who cared for him. His smile, his charm and his very essence is with all of us, and forever will be.
This is so sad. When I was learning to play the drums as a teenager I used to watch Crowded House videos over and over, copying everything Paul did, and I fell in love with his infectious energy and sense of fun. It seems so inexplicable that such a warm, funny, charming man and brilliant musician could feel so low that he had to take his own life.

Thanks for the music and the laughs Paul, we'll miss you xx
Though I have never visited this forum b4 I knew when I heard that I needed to find something OL attached to Frenz and Pete Green. After 10 yrs or so as a fan club member I remembered Pete's handwritten replies to questions or whatever, and knew I would find what I needed here. Sure enough he is still doing the job of a true gent. Thankyou Peter.

I loved growing up with CH, I loved living as an adult in Melbourne, and knowing Paul was there, right in my neighbourhood. I loved hearing you at the Espy again and drinking coffee in Elwood. God it was great to have you around.

I have never met you, dont know you at all so I dont quite understand why I have this knot in my stomach. Or why I have cried and cried. Like I'm doing something and I remember he's gone and I just have to look at the sky. Where are you Paul? We are all just so so sad. My heart aches for those girls.

I hope you were dreaming of glory, miles above, through the mountains and plains, free at last....
These messages from all you fans pretty much sum it up for me.

Interesting to note is that Channel 9's 'National Nine News' (6:00pm) item on Paul, like Channel 10, actually filmed this forum. The first shot was of the updated homepage with Deb's "confirmation" article, then we saw posts by vieoray, joeb2112 and jenn. Just for the record, Nine's 6:00pm News Bulletin is one of the most watched programs across Australia.

Frowner ...Still very much sad... Frowner
This is my 3rd post today. I've been trying to think of something to put my feelings into words that express my grief but instead just keep going back to the memories of gigs like the Myer roof top, Festival Hall, Dallas Brooks Hall, Capital car park, warm up before Sydney Myer Music Bowl in Richmond all just keep coming back .. I've just got "Nails in my feet".

Absolutely gutted. It's the Enz of an era.
So So So sad...

I remember being 16 or 17 and seeing Split Enz in Perth. My silly giggly girlfriends and I spent the whole evening with Neil Finn...such a gentlemen and we all felt so special. Paul was there..they all were.
Since then I have loved Crowded House. They created the soundtrack to my late teens and 20s. I remember being in London.. taking a sickie with my best mate Lee...homesick we drank wine and sang our hearts out to Crowded House all day...17 years ago.

Now I am a mum..and so is Lee..she has 2 little girls and I have one. All I can think of are his 2 little girls and his partner. It has been with me all day. The anguish and torment he must have been suffering to leave them must have been...well was...intolerable.

God Bless you Paul. I am so sorry my friend. So sorry for your pain. Fly free beautiful boy. I will pray for your loved ones left with so much grief and confusion.

As Bono wrote for his friend Michael got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it.

To Mardi and your girls and Neil and Nick and all concerned - you will be in my prayers and I send you my love.

just a Crowded House girl for 20 odd years.
This news about Paul Hester has been really upsetting.
I well remember the farwell concert on the steps of the Opera House ... waiting all day for the show to start, the excitement growing as it grew darker and the city switched on her lights, the backdrop for an amazing show. Many of us cried a little as the Crowdies played Don't Dream it's Over before leaving the stage...
I loved Crowded House and Paul was my favourite Crowdie.
My first ever album purchase with my pocket money (as an 12 year old) was True Colours by the Enz, so this musical love affair has endured for me for almost 25 years.
Vale Paul. Your humour, rhythm and musicality will be remembered by many around the world. Your death made many international news networks today (India, Malaysia, Canada, Sth Africa, the USA and UK)... proof that you were loved by more people than you personally knew. You, Neil, Nick, Tim and the Enz members left a collective legacy of magical music, and we'll all remember you.
I'm going to miss him.

I have to deal with this sort of thing in my job, and every day I see the pain that bipolar people go through - I know it's unconfirmed that he had that, but knowing about the extreme highs and lows... Anyway, I am so sorry that it ended this way, and that he couldn't hold on any longer.

Love and support to his family, friends and all who cared.
I am so sad and devastated by the death of Paul Hester. I had a small crush on him when I was a teenager and Crowded House had started their ascent into worldwide stardom. At the time, an Australian teenager magazine voted him the 2nd most desirable popstar, so I know I wasn't the only one.
Such a lively, gregarious, charismatic guy with an off-the-cuff sense of humour. I remember when Australian MTV was running in '89, he co-hosted the show for one night with Richard Wilkins and practically stole the show. I would watch or read anything that would feature the Crowdies, and/or Paul.
Not many people could leave a highly regarded and successful band to lead a life of more quality. Instead of resting on the laurels of that bands success, he made the most of his wit and personality by hosting radio and creating the show "Hessie's Shed" that aired from the Esplanade in St Kilda.
He was such an infectious personality that he inspired the Sheryl Crow song "Everyday is a winding Road". For me, it's ironic and incredibly sad that I admire the way he was, and how he led his life, and that he should take his life. I still find it incredibly hard to believe that he is gone.
I hope you have found peace, Paul. My heart breaks for you.

My husband woke me from a wierd dream I was having this morning. I sat up in bed and looked at him. He was crying and all he could repeat was 'paul hester is dead' over and over. no other words could pass his lips. I thought I was still asleep and soon the harsh reality hit me. I ran out of bed to see the news. I just could not believe it. Pure devistation on the deepest level. I would never have imagined this day coming.

Crowded house goes back a long way for not just my husband and myself but for my three kids as well. Every night when they were younger I sang them each a gentle lullaby every night - Faster than Light. They still ask me to sing ot to them and ask about the finns and their magical band. My oldest daughter, now 10, has even made me promise to take her to a live concert one day. Paul helped to bring that magic to all of us. The music is real. His drumming proved that.

I am having a hard time coming to terms with Pauls decision. I ask the ultimate question -- WHY?? -- I understand that we are all living in our individual lives and coping the best we know how, with lifes difficulties, but something just does not seem right. Did he really do this to himself? Do we have that completely clear? My guts just tell me that it's just not right. Would Paul have wanted his girls to endure the repercussions of his actions. I somehow think not. I would like to know why news reports say there are no suspiscious circumstances when it seems so obvious it is to me. Does anyone else agree?

May we as bystanders send all the white light conjurable to Mardi and the girls, in this time of complete and utter shock. It has reached all of us so deeply I am sure - and them even deeper.

We Love you Paul and all you have given to the world. We are grateful to you for sharing of yourself for so long and will carry you in our hearts forever. May you rest in peace
USA Today Posted this article at 4:40 this morning

Crowded House drummer Hester found dead
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) � The drummer from popular 1980s Australian rock band Crowded House hanged himself in a park in southern Australia, an emergency services spokeswoman said Monday. Paul Hester, 46, failed to return home after taking his two dogs for a walk on Friday night.

The drummer's body was later found in a park near his home in the southern city of Melbourne.

Metropolitan Ambulance Service spokeswoman Liraje Memishi said ambulance officers arrived on the scene shortly after midday Saturday and reported that Hester had "attempted suicide" and suffered strangulation.

Officers declared Hester dead more than 20 minutes later, Memishi said.

"They attempted resuscitation but he was dead when they arrived. There was nothing they could do," she said.

Memishi said she could not confirm where Hester's body was found, but reports have suggested he was discovered hanging from a tree.

Hester played in several small bands before joining the New Zealand group Split Enz in 1983. He and Split Enz singer Neil Finn formed Crowded House in 1985 with bass player Nick Seymour.

Crowded House was one of Australia's most successful bands in the late 1980s and early 1990s, with international hits such as Don't Dream it's Over and Weather with You.

Currently touring in London, Finn mourned the loss of his one-time band member.

"I am deeply saddened by the loss of a close friend," Finn told The Daily Telegraph.

Hester is survived by his girlfriend Mardi Sommerfield and their two daughters aged 8 and 10.
After reading 250+ posts today I'm thinking about what a wonderful world-wide family we have here and how we all feel like we've lost a brother. Thank you to the member who posted the lyrics to The Parting Glass, I hope the Finn Bros play that one tonight in London. Won't be a dry eye in the house but sometimes that's a good thing right?

I too remember the 1989 MTV show that Paul co-hosted with 'Dickie Wilkins' as he used to call him. Paul dressed exactly like Dickie, jeans, yellow check shirt, black leather jacket. Paul kept looking down intently at the rear of the coffee table (or whatever it was) that was in front of them on the set, apparently trying to work out what all the control buttons on it did. Dickie kept on telling him to leave it alone, and of course near the end of the show Paul pushed a button and they had one of those mock explosions on the set, very funny at the time. Paul also hit the control room to pull a video half-way through, can't remember what it was, but he had one of those great Paul facial expressions and did that comical sticking-your-fingers-down-your-throat thing.

Anyway I wondered what everyone thought about having a WWW - World Wide Wake - for Paul eg next Sat night when fans could get together in their little part of the world and share stories/memories and drink tea with the telly on in the background. Maybe stop short of wearing our pyjamas or streaking ... or maybe not!!

It's getting late in Brisvegas so time for me to try to sleep also, now having visions of 13000 FRENZ streaking around the world next Sat.
Cheers to all, Steve.
I too remember the 1989 MTV show that Paul co-hosted with 'Dickie Wilkins' as he used to call him. Paul dressed exactly like Dickie, jeans, yellow check shirt, black leather jacket. Paul kept looking down intently at the rear of the coffee table (or whatever it was) that was in front of them on the set, apparently trying to work out what all the control buttons on it did. Dickie kept on telling him to leave it alone, and of course near the end of the show Paul pushed a button and they had one of those mock explosions on the set, very funny at the time. Paul also hit the control room to pull a video half-way through, can't remember what it was, but he had one of those great Paul facial expressions and did that comical sticking-your-fingers-down-your-throat thing.

Glad to hear that someone else has the same memory of Paul from Aus MTV '89 (though your recollection is much better than mine!).

I'd like to add that my thoughts and sympathy go out to Paul Hesters family, especially Mardi and his little girls.
Very sad news indeed. I'm sure a lot of 'Frenz' will be asking 'Why?', but I'm sure that will be a hard question to answer. I'm equally sure that Neil & Tim will have a hard time throughtout the Albert Hall run and this will also stir up memories of their aunt.

As for him being remembered fondly, the fact that his death was one of the headlines on this morning - nearly 10 years after the band broke up - reminds us how fondly the band are remembered.

See Ya, Paul and Thank You.
Couldn't believe it when I woke up today and heard this tragic news.
I met Paul a few times and as a drummer and a person he was an inspiration. He could make the whole room happy and went out of his way to make everyone comfy. A very generous chap.
The world is a sadder place without him.
All my condolences to his family and to all those close to him. Very sad news indeed.
Talk about Four Seasons In One Day...... I have spent the day oscilating between utter shock and sadness to actually laughing out loud remembering Paul. I first met Paul in the Do Re Mi days, when I guess he was only 'a bit' famous. He was funny and friendly. I was thrilled when he joined the Enz, he was Enz material, if he was going to be in the Enz he had to be special. Special is what we got with Paul Hester. A fantastic drummer, but always terrific fun on and off the stage. When the Enz broke up, and Neil, Nick and Paul became the Mullanes and then Crowded House I always felt that Paul's loose as a goose style and on stage style and gregarious sense of joyous fun was one of the things that made CH so very very special. As Neil got older I felt he became more serious about the music, (which is fine - I got more serious about his music too), but Paul was the balance with his often ridiculous antics cracking the others up whilst never letting whatever song they were doing crumble into a heap completely. Even when Crowded House were HUGE he was never too busy, or too much of a 'star' to stop and say hello, sign autographs and do photo's. He was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. I can't pretend to understand why this has happened, but I think reading these posts (and writing them) is so very important for a couple of reasons. Being a 'fan' is a weird thing. You generally never get to meet the band you are a fan of, but their music touches you, moves you, links important events in your life, and music really becomes the soundtrack to your life. Generally you never get the chance to let 'them' know how important they have been to you. And if you do get lucky enough to meet 'them' and try to express the magnatude of their effect on your life, you just end up sounding like some loony psycho fan. But these posts are testament to the impact Paul and the bands he played in have had on people all over the world. My heart goes out to Pauls partener and girls, your loss is so much greater than ours, thank you so much for sharing your partner and your dad with the rest of us for so long, he was a very special guy.

The world is a sadder place tonight... sleep your peaceful sleep Paul, you made my life a happier one and we will miss you.

I just have to say Im really enjoying everyones imput, introspectives and words of means soo much to those of us who are trying to make sense of it REALLY does! I just wish he knew how much he was loved.
I dont think Ive been this sad since Michael Hutchence's death in '97 and the whole time youre just baffled, angry ect...when all along your just trying to heart is going out to you all.
How I wish I was across the world with the rest of you so as to see his impact he made.
I'm new to this forum, but a long-time fan of Crowded House from Canada. I got the sad news last night via email from an Australian friend of mine, and needless to say, I've been in shock ever since.

In a tribute to Paul, last night I dug out my Crowded House dvd and watched music videos - in a strange bit of irony, in the vido for "It's Only Natural", there's one clip where Paul Hester is seen coming out the sunroof of a car wearing the t-shirt of my favorite Canadian band, Blue Rodeo. To this day, I still don't know the connection between the two bands, or where Paul would have gotten the t-shirt - I know BR have toured Australia a few times, so it's possible they might have opened for Crowded House at some point - but that video in particular will now hold a special meaning to me.

In the days ahead, I'll be rummaging through my tape collection, trying to find my old Crowded House video tapes - "Farewell to the World" and a t.v. special they taped here in Canada on Much Music called "Intimate and Interactive" where they performed songs off of "Together Alone" and answered fans questions via phone or in the studio (if I still have it on tape - hopefully I do). Paul was really funny on that one - plus they played a fan request for "Italian Plastic" on that show, one of my favorite Paul songs.

Still can't believe it. Frowner My thoughts and prayers to Mardi and their two girls, the whole Hester family, and of course, the entire Crowded House/Split Enz family.
Neil Finn has just recently posted an update on the FinnBros.Com website:

MESSAGE FROM NEIL - Mon, 28 Mar 2005

"It was with deepest sadness and shock that I learned yesterday of the passing away of one of my closest friends, Paul Hester.

Nick Seymour will be joining Tim and me here in London today to share our grief. The Finn Brothers shows this week at the Royal Albert Hall will go ahead as we don't know what else to do at this time other than to be with those closest to us and Paul and to play music to remember him by.

Our hearts go out to Mardi, Sunday, Olive and all of Paul's family."

Does that mean Nick will be joining them on-stage? Only time will tell I guess.
While I was being comforted by my mum last night, she mentioned how prophetic the Crowdies debut album cover is... The wings, what a beautiful man Smiler I do hope those wings will carry him safely to heaven, if there is such a place... or at the very least, a place where he can be at peace at last.

I hope he's up there drummin' away with all the great drummers who have gone before him: Dennis Wilson, Keith Moon, John Bonham, and all those wonderful guys! Bless you Paul Smiler
Came in to work this morning to find out about Paul - totally devastating for me, so I can only imagine how painful it is for his friends/family. Having experienced the pain of losing someone I know by suicide before, my heart aches for them.

Oddest thing is this morning I decided to listen to an old Crowded House live CD that I haven't listened to in ages. I was remembering how fun it was to see Paul on stage the few times I got to see Crowded House. Especially during Sister Madly.... Paul Hester, you made me laugh and your music made me happy - you really made the world a better place for me and many others.
saddest day ever, very surreal the circumstances. I was listening to Recurring Dream whilst the storms were going in Perth and woke up to this shocking news this morning. They are one of my favourite bands of all time(and still are) has lost a treasure and an integral part of the supergroup. I was like all of you a huge fan growing up in Darwin with the beautiful tunes of the crowdies. Pauls drumming was awesome. Especially live. He was an even likeable and funny, witty bloke both on and off stage. He is a huge loss to the music world. icons like him are hard to ignore. Miss him massively. I was so hoping for a Crowdies Concert reuniion in Perth. Sadly this has dashed those hopes i suppose. To Hessie's Family and Friends my sincere condolences for you. Also Give a big shout out to all you fans out there. This is so unbelievable to take. Frowner
This is a duplicate post, but I wanted to make sure it was posted in the proper place..


I've always remembered the day I met Paul. Crowded House was in Nashville touring for Woodface. I had gone back stage to meet them. At the time, I was working for a video distribution company. I always had stacks of movies, so I brought some for them to watch on the bus. I just remember Paul getting up in my face all excited, asking me what the movies were about. It seemed the more I answered his questions, the bigger his eyes got. He was just the coolest guy. He was really engaged in our conversation, and he made me feel like a friend, even though we had only just met, and would never cross paths again.

As a Split Enz / Crowded House fan, I'm am deeply sad today. As a human being, I'm devastated.
Originally posted by Welsh Dan:
[qb] I never though I'd I'd be so affected by the death of someone I didn't know. Woodface was the first album I loved passionately, whilst I was growing up, exploring my musical tastes. Italian Plastic is such a joyeous song. Now it sounds so sad [/qb]
Hmm, same for me. I've just been crying my eyes out listening to Love this Life and World Where You Live from the fanclub cd Paul Is Dead ... That title seems soo spooky now Frowner Paul 'requested' WWYL.... Neil ends with "Good call Paul!" ...

I've never met Paul in person and I've only been to one CH gig myself, but I've listened to so many fanclub cds and always loved his contribution to what was the Crowded House Live Experience. True Genius!

I hope you are in a safe place now, Paul.
I'm sure there are many folks already looking out for Paul's family, but as we fans across the world grieve for this loss (in our own way) maybe we can do something for the family, for his girls, to say thank you and to show our respect?

Maybe Peter can answer this at some point, are there plans to set up some sort of foundation, in Paul's name, or maybe a scholarship for the girls, or something? It's just a thought, but I'm sure a small gesture from fans across the globe would, in time, provide some comfort to the family.

What a sad event. I joined this forum just to pay my respects. I played kb/sax in the Motels, and Crowded House and us were both on Capitol Records. They were a great band, but I remember Split Enz even more, from our visits to Australia, ("Hard Act to Follow," "Choral Sea" et al) and we were all fans of the singing and playing and writing of the Finns and company. "Don't Dream It's Over" is one of the greatest pop songs ever recorded, what a classic. May PAUL's family get the support they need in this painful time. Frowner
Marty Jourard
We're all at a loss for words, and yet we're all on here talking, trying to have a communal experience through the internet. I'm walking around my office today in Atlanta and I can't really express to anyone just how sad & f@%ked up this all seems.

My wife wanted me to express to everyone of course our condolences to his family & loved ones, and that though he'll live on through his music, listing will now have a bittersweet edge that wasn't there before - still loved just as much though.

Is it strange for a 38 year old man to want to cry about a man I only met once, and saw live twice?

Right now I don't want to listen to CH or SE, don't want to watch Paul on any video, and I don't know when I'll ever want to listen to any of the fan club cd's, especially Paul is Dead, agin. I was there that night, and I don't want to think about it any more.

RIP Paul - you are still much loved around the world.
I can only think of Lullaby Requiem. With much grace and provenance, may love and comfort find their way to Paul's family and friends. God speed.

Goodnight, bless you
Let angels possess you
you'll make dreams of another life
don't think it's too much
to close your eyes and leave us
in strange places we come undone
and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not meant to last
like a mother's love
it's real life, it's all true
you know how i'll miss you
in quiet moments i'll come undone
and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not meant to last like a mothers love
sleep comes when all is laid to rest
that's when you'll find what your looking for
strange feelings you can't explain
wild forces you can't contain
and the building blocks
sometimes have to crash
not built to like a mother's love
peace comes to when fear is laid to rest
that's when you'll find what you're looking for
How surreal is this grief we are feeling for someone we loved so much, yet we didn�t even know him? I�ve been in complete shock since I found out, desperately wanting to share my feelings of despair and confusion and sorrow. My husband keeps looking at me like I�m crazy and can�t understand why I am so affected by this. My 8 year old daughter cried for Paul�s girls when I told her the news, so sad for them to lose their daddy. My 6 year old daughter cannot make sense of someone taking their own life and kept saying � �but why, Mum?�

The thing is, the compassion we feel for Paul�s family and friends and the sadness we feel for a man suffering such pain �these are emotions that such tragedy would evoke in all of us no matter who it was�.but for so many of us who have been touched by the music and the performances there is a whole other dimension to the grief. Crowded House are my all-time favourite band. The music is so tightly entwined around whole periods in time throughout my life and has continued to be. My kids know all the songs, even my 2 year old son sings along to Distant Sun! Paul�s death is a huge personal loss to so many of us and I am struggling with whether I even have a right to feel it as a personal loss. It has certainly helped to read this outpouring of love and mourning from other fans.

I will never ever forget the Concert for Life in Centennial Park as the rain poured down and we chanted Weather with You, or Paul bringing out his drum to the front of the stage at each gig for Sister Madly, or the hilarious banter between the 3 of them.

As Neil and Tim perform their gig tonight in Albert Hall, so many songs will take on new meaning�..look at the lyrics to Never be the Same � I don�t think I�ll ever hear that song again without thinking of Paul. And so many others�All I Ask, How Will You Go, Love the Life, Black and White Boy, even songs like Won�t Give In, will be so hard to perform�.�everyone I love is here, say it once then disappear�.
Dear Paul,
I'll never forget Easter monday 2005, the day I heard the sad news of your dead.

We all have our private universes with thougts hard to describe. Darker sides are continuously in battle with more positive sides. I'm very sad that the darker side of your universe overwhelmed the other, much happier one.

But I'm very glad that I've seen your much happier side. It meant a lot to quite a bunch of people.
I am shocked and saddened by this news. Having experienced it firsthand, I can say that depression is the nastiest of diseases. As someone in an earlier post mentioned, it can play tricks on the mind. Those who have never suffered it can never know how horrible it truly is. I hope Paul found whatever it was he was looking for. We will remember him fondly forever.
I am soo incredibly saddened by the news. I will never forget the 1st time I saw Crowded House play live when I was just 13 on their 1st tour. My friends & I were the only kids there and we were getting smashed in the front. Paul jumped off the stage & came up to us & gave us some Australian tea and asked if we were alright. Paul was special, indeed.

My heart goes out to his friends & family.
I came on here at about 1 am on Sunday and saw the first 2 posts in this thread, with no idea what had happened & a sick feeling in my stomach. Didn't want to add my voice at a time of confusion & still don't know what to say other than what everyone else has put already; I'll miss him, and my thoughts go out to his family & friends.

I never got to meet him, but I've still got one of his drumsticks sat on my desk at home, and memories of everything special that he brought to CH performances that I saw.
I just saw the news over here in the United States. I wish I could have met Paul and seen him perform at least once. It will be something I regret the rest of my days. Crowded House was and is still to this day one of my favorite bands to listen to and watch. I'll always remember seeing Paul smile and laugh in all those quirky videos. That's the image I'll always remember of him. He's music and performances have touched my life in so many ways, and I'll miss him. I can't begin to imagine what his personal life was like or why he would want to end his life so abruptly. But to his family and friends I offer you my deepest sympathy. Hopefully, you will all remember him as fondly as I do and take comfort in the fact that his life has touched so many others.

God bless you Paul.
Like many others here, I've registered on the forum so I could pay my respects. I have so many fond memories of Paul -- my first CH show, at Parker's in Seattle (a small nightclub! The show was booked before "DDIO" hit big, and they didn't move it elsewhere even though the song hit the charts before the gig), being about 5 feet away from the band... meeting them at a signing at Peaches, where they all drew pictures and jokes on my album and poster, with Paul (of course) being silliest... then Bumbershoot that autumn, with the great "Massive" encore...

It is so truly sad. I can't wrap my brain around this.
Just before I went to bed last night...I heard the news that Paul had taken his own life.

Although I never had the privilege of seeing Crowded House live (I was always hoping for a reunion tour), Crowded House were and still are a big part of my life. Growing up in Canada in the 80�s I couldn�t wait for the next time they visited Much Music...not only were they amazing musicians....but they were hilarious...and I always waited to see Paul�s next antics.

My brother, much like Paul, was someone who was full of energy...who loved life...who loved a good laugh......who loved music.....who loved his family and children more than anything in the world...and yet like Paul, he too ended his life a year and a half ago at the age of 47.

My heart goes out to Paul�s family, the members of Crowded House and in particular to his young children. My father passed away when I was only 4 years old so I know what it�s like to grow up without your father...and now I know what it is like to lose someone you love to suicide.

Every day I wonder why my brother did what he did...and we�ll never know the answer to why Paul did what he did either. I use to look at suicide as the most selfish act a person can commit.....but now I think it wasn�t really them who made the decision...they died of a disease...not a physical one but a mental one...depression. We can only hope and pray that Paul is at peace now.

My brother�s funeral had the largest turn-out of people that my town had seen in years. My family and I took comfort in the fact that my brother touched so many people�s lives....and we thought if only he knew how many people loved him...would he have ended his own life?

Reading the many posts and memories about Paul here make me ask the same question. I hope he knows now how much he has meant and will continue to mean to so many people around the world. I also hope that somehow these many posts can help bring the slightest bit of comfort to his family, friends and fans. will be missed and always remembered!

i won't forget this morning, i had forgotten to cancel my alarm that goes off at 7am monday to friday as it went off i could hear my radio in the back ground and at hearing the music industry is in mourning for split enz and crowded house drummer Paul Hester...
then shortly after my mother messaging me with the same news it still didn't really sink in until i was watching Music max and sessions came on with Neil and Tim,laughing out loud at Paul stealing Neils guitar 7 years ago, watching as he took the stage to play drums on weather with you. sigh.

my heartfelt sympathies to his family and all those who knew him.

may he rest in peace.
So sad! I read the news after getting home from sharing Easter Sunday with relatives, and read it on This morning, I get to work and tell my co-worker that the drummer from my favorite band ever has died. They say, "Who? That band with that one 80s ballad???" That is what makes forums like this so special, to find out that we can be together when we feel like we are alone.

I fondly rembember initially getting hooked on them when I was 17 (in 1987), when I had gone to Australia/NZ on a high school trip. When I got back, Crowded House was one of the headliners at Seattle's big summer music fest, Bumbershoot, and it was a dream come true. Every time CH or any Finn has come to town since, I've gone up and down the I-5 corridor (Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, and sometimes even San Francisco) with a select handful of equally appreciative pals, to catch as many shows as possible.

Paul, you will be greatly missed. I'm sorry you were so sad you had to leave this life.

It's a personally sad day for many of us, and undoubtedly worse for the immediate family. My prayers and thoughts go out to Paul's children and Mardi. Peter, if there's an appropriate way for fans to show their support to those he has left behind, please let us know.

For personal next steps, consider the H&C song they do on One Night Stand following Paul's play-by-play call of Neil running around the room: throw your arms around someone.
I am deeply saddened by this. I do not know what to say. I have always looked up to Paul as a drummer, a musician and for making me laugh in all the wrong places. Tonight I wrote a song for him and I offer my condolences to all.

You can hear/download the song here if want. There is no advertising or my name on this site, it's just a tribute for Paul.

Rest in Peace Paul and thanks.
Originally posted by howwillugo:
[qb] It's a personally sad day for many of us, and undoubtedly worse for the immediate family. My prayers and thoughts go out to Paul's children and Mardi. Peter, if there's an appropriate way for fans to show their support to those he has left behind, please let us know. [/qb]
Exactly. However sad it is for all of us it must be far worse for them.

My thoughts are with them.

RIP, Paul.
I'm thankful for the forum. Sitting here at work learning of this news --feeling alone in my sadness. i know I am not alone.

my heart goes out to all, peter, neil, nick, tim the girls and all who knew and loved paul.

I'd just want to say how lucky I feel to have been witness to Paul's wonderful joy and energy on this earth.

May his big joyous grin light up our night skies.

Numb....that's all I feel today is numb.

I hadn't read Peter's email until this morning at work, having spent the weekend not reading any emails nor surfing the web. I know I haven't posted in a while, but I had to let everyone know how wonderful it is to come to this site and read everyone's stories about Paul. This is what will keep him alive in our hearts and minds, by sharing our thoughts and prayers.

I never got to see CH live, but in everything you heard or saw or read about the band, his wit and charm just poured through...

I have now passed the numb stage to utter and complete sadness. This is just too horrible to imagine...

My thoughts and prayers for his family and for all his friends around the world, both his personal friends and all the frenz who feel a loss.

He will be missed....
Crowded House as a band were my musical refuge during my teenage years. It was seeing the Farewell Concert on TV, and more specifically Paulo's antics at that gig that turned them from a band I liked to my favourite band. I'm sure all of you know the importance, especially in your teenage years, of that one favourite band. CH were it for me.

I joined the fan club when I was 16 or so, and ordered some fan club cds. What became immediately apparent was that on top of the wonderful songs, the sheer sense of humour the band had, Paul most especially. I tortured my friends playing them clips of Paul's between song banter (The Brady Bunch Song, Paul's "typical australian guy goes up to this typical australian girl and asks her, sheila, do you..." speech, Paul's many taunts at Neil's expense during those Corner Hotel gigs). I must have worn out my FWTTW video showing the Hessie doing Tina Turner clip.

I was listening to "There Goes God" from the Recurring Dream Live CD last night, from that infamous Newcastle, Aus 1992 show. Just listening to the man drum, sing, in full flying form. It hit me how much i'd forgotten what an absolute talent on a purely musical level the man had. As a musician, i'd always hoped that one day i'd get the chance to play with him. Paul was *the* drummer, his playing style *was* my idea of perfect drumming.

Having been trawling the news sites, checking in on the forum practically every few minutes since finding PG's email in my inbox yesterday morning, I'd become a bit desensitised to it at this stage. Then trawling the musical channels, I stumbled across them playing the vid for "Four Seasons in One Day". And it knocked me sideways.
Just checked my email and found a message "Paul Hester, may he rest in peace." And I thougt that he was finally going to release his cd with a new title.

It's so sad that he did this.........
My thoughts are with his family and his friends. Having seen the damage and anger such a tremendous shock causes, I hope that they are alright.
Originally posted by ::iarla:::
[qb] Crowded House as a band were my musical refuge during my teenage years. It was seeing the Farewell Concert on TV, and more specifically Paulo's antics at that gig that turned them from a band I liked to my favourite band. I'm sure all of you know the importance, especially in your teenage years, of that one favourite band. CH were it for me. [/qb]
Same here. The soundtrack to my late teens and early twenties.

Originally posted by ::iarla:::
[qb]Then trawling the musical channels, I stumbled across them playing the vid for "Four Seasons in One Day". And it knocked me sideways. [/qb]
I don't think I could stand to see video footage right now. Listening to the music, especially the live performances, is doing me in today.
Nick (I take it that's your name?),

Just thought I'd say how much I loved your tribute to Paul; it's the perfect style for a tribute song, & fits freakishly well with the moment we're in.

It's much appreciated you posting the link to the forum, as I'm sure you'd have quite a few downloads by now. I also admired the way you went about releasing the track, being completely uncommercial & all.

Cheers, I hope you go far with your music.

On another note: Australian fans (who really shouldn't be up at this hour) might want to check out Sunrise on Channel 7 this morning (starting at 6:00am) for more recent news on Paul.
Originally posted by DevilYouKnow:
[qb] There are a lot of Seattleites on this post....maybe everyone should get together for a drink to talk about the fond memories of Paul and Crowded House... [/qb]
Great idea, DevilYouKnow. I run a Finn-associated forum for off-topic discussion and have a 24/7 Chat Room on my site. Everyone, please feel free to come and chat. I'll be around on it at variable times throughout the day, and perhaps we can arrange a set time for a group chat? We could make a schedule for different times based on your time zone. Perhaps we can find solace in each other....

Click on the Next Exit link below....the Chat Room link is in the top box.

I've been offline this weekend and after folding the laundry this am, while listening to the "Crowded House" cd (weird?) I turn on the computer and open up myemail to over 200! The first one was Peter's and I thought to myself: "uh oh, this is not going to be good..." I'm in total shock and the strange thing is, while painting on Saturday, I couldn't get "There goes God" out of my head. And my son Sean was talking non-stop about "Paul the Chef" from the Wiggles, this weekend. (He thought it was amazing that daddy and I just saw Neil and Tim, who played with Paul the Chef in a band lol) He likes to ask all kinds of questions about him and watch the old Crowdies videos but he said to me today..."I guess I won't see him anymore on the Wiggles?" I told him "you'll see him in the videos and the tv shows" I guess Im rambling but I thought I would post this poem. It was from Linda McCartney's memorial service and I always thought it was beautiful and so appropriate:

Death Is Nothing At All

by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918),
Canon of St.Paul�s Cathedral

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
Laugh as we always laughed,
At the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same that it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind,
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner, all is well

Godspeed Paul the Chef
It's very sad. Especially for is family and friends.
I am a crowded house fan since a year. I have never seen live shows and I have never seen videoclips of crowded house. I have never known anything about paul hester. And there is only one Paul hester song that I like. But still I am very shocked. I hope that the finn brothers will play one of his songs on the forthcoming shows in the Netherlands, my telly's gone bung.
I would have like to have known you, but I was just a kid. your candle burned out long before, your legend ever did. (maybe not the right artist at the moment, but for me it's the right lyric)
I'd like to echo one of the sentiments of others and thank you all for being here sharing how you feel... it makes me feel more normal for feeling how I do.

I don't feel like I can get very far with co-workers and non-Frenz friends trying to explain how I can be so upset at the passing of someone I never met, never saw play live, but yet the music he had a hand in creating has been a constant companion to the last five or so years of my life...

I'm just not prepared for blank looks and "huh" and "Crowded House... who's that?". Not today. So thanks for being here, everyone.
I was so confused yesterday when my inbox was full of messages. And then I spent my day reading every message, every news story, every post --- trying to wrap my head around this horrible news. Couldn't bring myself to post.

Couldn't sleep last night thinking about those 2 little girls. Bless them.

It has been so incredible reading the accounts from everyone down under - all the tributes, all the coverage - I feel so isolated here in the US. I wish I could see some of the things you are all talking about. Maybe it's silly of me to think that would help it sink in.

I am so happy to see people signing in for the first time to post their condolences and lovely stories about Paul. It's not the first time I have been thankful for this community. I remember Paul making me laugh so hard at a CH show back in 94 - when he ran across the stage in between encores in nothing but his skivvies - but ran in a way that I could do better by showing you - hopping from foot to foot - his body in a position that looked like the little image of the man on the emergency exit signs in the UK.

I would give anything to be at the RAH tonight to be with other frenz listening to the music at a time like this. Someone else posted this and I echo the sentiment heartily - from the fans in the US - all we ask of people going to the show tonight is that you bring our spirits with you to support Nick, Neil, Tim and all the grieving frenz. I don't know how they are going to do the show tonight. Bless them.

Thank you Peter for taking the time to write to the fans - it's never easy to be the one who bears the bad news - especially when the bad news has affected you as well.

I believe that there is something good in everything bad. And the only thing I can find in this that might be the slightest bit good is that this tragic event caused many people to hug their loved ones a little closer today.

My heart goes out to his family and friends.

And here at the end of this post I find that once again words fail to convey...

Hello all,
I was surfing the newsgroups last night and saw a link to the sad news that some kind soul had posted. I wouldn't have known otherwise because none of the papers ran the news this morning. As Canada was one of Split Enz/CH's best markets and strongest fan bases, hopefully this will be corrected in the coming days.

I'm touched by all the kind words that others have written here (including some from other fans who I haven't seen or heard from in a while - which is a comfort to know that we are all experiencing the same emotions). As another for whom CH is part of the soundtrack of my life, I don't really have much to add to what has been said.

I do, however, want to respond to some posts where people have been angry at Paul for being selfish or making a stupid decision. Speaking as someone with some history of chronic depression in my family - it's entirely natural and reasonable to be mad at people who are suicidal, but often people in depressive states are in such huge amounts psychological pain/distress that they are not thinking in ways that are 'rational'. They can't recognize that they are loved and cared for, and that those who love them will love them regardless of what they are going through - they can be in such agony that they honestly don't want to continue living in the state they are in any more, and/or they feel they are a burden on those around them and that everyone else would be better off without them. This isn't reasonable and it doesn't make sense to us, but it does to them. So please be careful in passing judgment on Paul's decision - we don't know the specifics of his case or what led to the events, but it's quite likely that he was in such a state that he saw this as an option, even if we would not.

I just feel very sad that he felt he had to do this, and I feel bad for his family and for everyone else in the CH/Split Enz community.
heartfelt thanks for all of the messages and this forum for being a place to share thoughts and be sad, to have a chuckle remembering funny things, and to just be. reading the posts here and seeing how much paul was loved, and how much crowded house, neil, tim, and all are appreciated & adored has been the best medicine in trying to make sense of the terrible hole left behind.

ive seen many people say how listening to crowded house will never be the same again. i feel quite the opposite; the legacy of music crowded house has left will always stand for what it has always stood for in my life: love, living, happiness, a good time, harmony...and so many things that are the opposite of how we all feel right now.

<3 to you all.
I didn't know about the existance of this forum until today. And I call myself a Crowded House fan! Hmmmm. I felt that I wanted to say something, so I went ahead and joined the forum. Now I'm here, I don't know what to say!

I had switched on my PC before I switched on my TV this morning and the news about Paul was the first thing that appeared in the News part of my homepage. Since then, it's been a day of listening to all the albums - in order - and watching the Farewell To The World.

Take care, Paul. Enjoy the music session in the sky!

No one can understand suicide except those who have succeeded. With this we have an enormous loss but remember that Paul has no more pain. So instead of focusing on the loss of an exciting entertainer we should remember his antics, his humour and his innate goodness. The boys are larger than life to us, we all love what they have given to us. It's our turn to give it back. Love this Life, Don't Dream it's Over.
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain
the finger of blame has turned upon itself
and I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead
I'll Fall at Your Feet...

Godspeed Paul, may your peace find you
May you live in the souls of your family and let them shine again

love from maya
(Sorry pharmgirl. I'm sure I hit reply in this thread but ended up in a parallel universe)

This has been on all the radio news bulletins over here. A friend told me this morning. Almost embarassed not to have found it out first hand. Royal Albert Hall will probably be a well of tears tonight. Hoping in vain that next Sunday's Cork gig will go ahead but that's not too important right now. Tonight's Channel 4 show to look forward to and 'Dreaming - The Videos' has been going all day on my player.

Funnily enough my wife had commented that some suicide-inclined people tend to plan everything in advance unbeknownst to their nearest and dearest. She didn't know that he had been here in Ireland recently to see Nick. Nick said:

�The last words Paul told me were: �I love you, mate. See you in town (Melbourne) in a month�.�
And I begin to wonder.
Originally posted by AnnieMay:
[qb] I have never met you, dont know you at all so I dont quite understand why I have this knot in my stomach. Or why I have cried and cried. Like I'm doing something and I remember he's gone and I just have to look at the sky. Where are you Paul?[/qb]
My reactions exactly this past weekend. Late last night I used quite a few Kleenex, let's just put it that way.

Originally posted by AnnieMay:
[qb]I hope you were dreaming of glory, miles above, through the mountains and plains, free at last.... [/qb]
That song was running through my head all day yesterday. Very creepy. But thanks to everyone who's posted great poems/song lyrics...they really do fit this whole thing, they're just what I think we all need to hear right now.

And pfellah, hey, that's why we're won't have to worry about that problem here. It really is nice to find others out there who will get this.

Frowner Wow.Cant even think what to say here,I feel you out there.Peter and crew just has to be CRUSHED!I'm suprized at how this has hit me.I have trouble getting emotional about things.More will be revealed.........Knowing a little something about depression myself.At the risk of turning people off here let me say I have experience with this sort of thing (although years ago) myself but have close family and friends that suffer from it.One of them blew thier heads off w/ a shotgun.The other has been in and out of the hospital and I see him suffer.Again, at the risk of being alienated here,let me first say I love CH.They are a part of my life.I have seen them live more than once.I certainly have NO indication or reason to think that Paul had these issues.If...If alchohol or drug's were involved(I speak from personal experience here)please understand that this sort of thing is SO powerfull that suicide seems like a good idea sometime's.Really the ONLY way out.I only say this perhaps to offer some way of an explanation and maybe a way to help some people get thru this.I in no way want to suggest this was the case but,if was I understand a little about it.I'm in recovery myself from this stuff and it's a killer.So is just derpression all by itself.My thoughts and prayer's to thier family and friend's.
Peace, Frowner Mark
from news limited newspapers in australia

Hester's love turmoil
March 29, 2005

DRAMATIC details of rock star Paul Hester's death, and his recent split with the woman he hoped to marry, were revealed last night.
Friends told how the Crowded House drummer had suffered turmoil in his love life, first the end of his romance with the mother of his two daughters and then parting with New Zealand singer Kashan, whom he had planned to wed in May.

But 46-year-old Hester gave no indication he was distressed about the break-ups when he took his two pet dogs for a walk on Friday night.

He was found dead on Saturday afternoon after he hanged himself from a tree in a popular suburban park.

Friends revealed that Hester's two-year relationship with Kashan had ended in December after they revealed plans to marry in October. He had also split from his long-time partner, Mardi Sommerfeld, the mother of his daughters, aged 8 and 10.

But friends said Hester had been coping well despite previously undergoing eight years of therapy. They discounted that a broken heart caused the dark spiral that ended in death.

Ambulance officers who were called to Melbourne's Elsternwick Park near his home on Saturday battled for 20 minutes to try to revive him.

The officers reported Hester had "attempted suicide" and suffered "strangulation", ambulance spokeswoman Liraje Memishi said. "They attempted resuscitation but he was dead when they arrived. There was nothing they could do."

They declared Hester dead at 1.20pm. There were no suspicious circumstances.

Speaking of his break-up with 33-year-old Kashan, a family member said: "It was an amicable split, but they stayed in contact and on very friendly terms.

"There was talk of marriage further down the track, but nothing was ever formalised. There was nothing sinister in the split. She didn't run off with somebody else. They remained friends.

"Now she is incredibly devastated by this tragedy and, like everybody else, is asking 'Why?"'

Ms Sommerfeld said yesterday: "We would like Paul to be remembered as the loving father he was, and for the way in which he celebrated life.

"The family is very shocked and saddened by the loss of Paul. He will be greatly missed by all who loved him."

Ms Sommerfeld's statement was co-signed by her daughters, and Hester's father Mike, mother Ann, and sister Carolyn.

Friends who spoke to Hester in the weeks before his death said he gave no hint he was struggling with another bout of depression.

General manager of cable music channel Max, Jacqui Riddell, said she had met Hester recently to run through the next round of Max Sessions, a series of intimate concerts featuring top-shelf music acts performing live.

He kicked off the 2005 season last week with the Jack Johnson concert in Centennial Park on March 18.

"He was normal Paul when I had lunch with him. He really loved doing them," Ms Riddell said.

"Paul's passion, wit and warmth have helped make the Max Sessions special.

"Paul leaves a body of work which demonstrates not only his talent, but his commitment to live music in this country. We will miss him dearly."

Another television colleague said Hester had been approached to film a pilot for a new lifestyle program because of the success of the Max Sessions.

"When I spoke to him last week, he was his usual self, joking about mobile phones and how he still didn't understand how to use them," said the colleague. "He loved doing the Sessions for the most part and mostly he was on fire. Some days not so much.

"The great thing about Paul in that role was you may not have known him but almost everyone in the audience would walk away feeling like they did.

"And his musical background enabled him to communicate with the musicians on a very special level."

Hester continued playing after leaving Crowded House in 1994, recording with many of his Melbourne mates.

He performed with former Crowded House members Neil and Tim Finn in November. The obvious joy of the brief reunion fuelled speculation among fans and industry stalwarts that Crowded House may re-form after nine years.

Fans from Australia, the US and Europe rallied online to send their condolences to Hester's family and friends.,10117,12687070-28793,00.html
I haven't posted in a long time. I am saddened but not entirely shocked, unfortunately. I got the impression from reading "Something So Strong" that Paul was a deeply troubled person, even though author Chris Bourke never quite explicitly wrote that, it was implied.

My heart goes out to his daughters and family, as well as everyone whose lives he touched.

Were he and Mardi still together? It would seem not, as he had been engaged to Kashan, yet some news accounts have them (P and M) still living together. Does anyone know which is accurate. (Don't give me classified information, but if anyone saw something in the paper. . .)

Did they ever find the dogs? Or are they still roaming loose in that park?

I wish I could join the chorus of those stating it was his personal choice--and I can understand what he was going through a little, as I did have a bout with depression in my teens--but I can't quite forgive him for putting his animal's lives in danger like that. I can only assume that he meant them no harm and that his mental illness was preventing him from thinking clearly. It's just a tragedy, all around.
I can understand what he was going through a little, as I did have a bout with depression in my teens--but I can't quite forgive him for putting his animal's lives in danger like that
I think he had bigger problems than his pets' concerns at this time. If he was concerned about the care of his pets you can bet he had a bigger concern about the care of and the impact this would have on his kids. This isn't the place for the why's or the wherewithals. Needless to say, rationale is the last thing on the mind of people in this frame of mind. There are only a select few who can reason with them. For now, I'm glad I'm not one.
It's absolutely shocking news and I hope the Hester family can find some comfort in the great support they are sure to receive - we are the poorer for having lost him but infinitly richer for having known him. I'm playing at an open-mic night (if there are any Bristolian Frenz then come along to the Bunch of Grapes pub) and intend to pay tribute to Paul - a version of Italian Plastic and maybe even This is Massive will be my way of honouring him.
I was saddened to hear about the death of Paul Hester. He was a great musician and seemed like such a fun and happy guy. My prayers go out to his family and his former band mates who I'm sure are suffering terribly at this time. May his soul rest in peace and his music live on.

"Don't stand around like friends at a funeral, eyes to the ground, it could have been you...Why do you weep for the passing of ages...."

"Love this life, don't wait until the next one comes...Maybe the day will come when you'll never have to feel no pain, after all my complaining, gonna love this life."
It's 5.05am here in Oz, and I've just become a member an hour ago so that I could post on this site. I've been reading these 360+ messages for hours (with a couple of fag breaks).

At tea time, I poked my head into the lounge room and just caught images of Crowded House and Paul, as the CH10 news was finishing. I asked my boyfriend why they were showing this, but he hadn't been watching and the volume was down. I said to him 'My God, maybe one of them's died', but I didn't think so really, as they're not exactly old. When I got on the web a couple of hours later, my homepage had a photo of Paul, and my stomach sank before I even read the headline.

WOW, what an absolute Shock! An absolute Shock!

I've known now for 11 hours, and I still find it hard to believe that it's true.

I have a couple of things to say which I hope might help his loving frenz:-

I've suffered from depression for many years. I finally found help 10 years ago, just after the birth of my 4th child, and have been on anti-depressants ever since. I've had lots of expert counselling and I have countless joyous things in my life. Great friends, wonderful kids who I love more than I can say, really nice house, 2 dogs, a cat, a gallah, a job that I really enjoy, enough money in the bank to pay the bills, a reliable car with air con,..... you get my drift. I live in Kalbarri for God's sake! Those of you who've been here will know what I mean - it's paradise.

But, I do get down quite often and I have twice thought of suicide. To try to describe the feeling that leads you to those thoughts would be futile, because there are no feelings at all, just a word - "STOP!"

The pain REALLY can become that bad that killing yourself and leaving your loved ones in agony is a better option than waking up tomorrow.

To those of you who think (understandably) that suicide is selfish, please think again. Almost every creature on Earth has a deeply ingrained instinct for self-preservation. Think of animals chewing off their own limbs to get out of a trap, or that guy a year or so ago using a small pen-knife to cut off his own arm which was trapped under that bouler. What excrutiating agony he inflicted on himself just so he could keep living.
Then try to imagine how much pain Paul must have been in to purposely STOP living!

And of course, a lot of people with depression deserve Oscars. They become brilliant actors out of necessity, because they don't want to be a burden on their loved ones, they are often riddled with guilt over not being grateful for what they have, and sometimes haven't got the mental energy it takes to talk about their problems.

I hope the above might go a little way to answering the questions "how could he do that when he had little kids?"
and "but he was so loved....?"
and "he seemed so happy and normal last week.....?"

This is such a sad horrible thing to have happened. Really likeable bloke with a brilliant sense of humour. I love CH and it's such a shocking, sad loss. I can't imagine how Paul's family, band mates, and friends must feel.

He was pretty wonderful wasn't he?
Hi everyone.

Just got back from the Albert Hall gig.

The first 10 mins were intense. Don't Dream started and Nick Seymour appeared with Tim, Neil and a snare drum in between them and Paul's hat on top of the drum. The tears didn't stop. They sang Italian Plastic...

I left just after the beginning of the encore (other fans please advise what tunes I missed!)....but left feeling ALOT better. Tim and Neil were highly appreciative of being there and not somewhere else where, as Tim said "They wouldn't be of any use"....

They also mentioned they were in pain but thought it was the best thing they did under the circumstances.

BTW - Thought about 'Black & White Boy' on way home - ecclectic to say the least.

My heart is in pain, and I'm numb but am comforted.

To all of you and to you Paul,


miss you.
I really can't express with words how sad I feel right now; I just found out. I sat at my computer with my hand over my mouth saying oh my god, oh my god, for five minutes before I could even move for shock. I just can't believe it. I'm too shocked to cry.

Paul, you are, and will always be, my favourite drummer. I love you!


love always,
Thanks, sasswa, for the update on the gig. I wish I could've been sounds like the boys did an excellent job for their mate Paul.

And thanks to all the people dropping by the Next Exit Chat's been nice meeting you, even under the circumstances. And great to chat about the great man and musician Paul Hester.

Originally posted by sunset swimmer:
[qb] have had some time to digest the news...and it's not sitting well. I remember one day when I was about 11 years old...riding home from school in the car and the news came on the radio saying John Lennon was mother was so upset she had to pull over. I didn't get it then. I do now. [/qb]
Perfectly put. Thank you.
I almost don't know what to say, so after listening to all the Crowded House albums i've so far managed to get my hands on (Crowded House, Woodface, Afterglow, Recurring Dream, Dreaming The videos), this line, from Tall Trees grabbed me the most.

And the roses you grow
Have a powerful scent
They'll be breaking your heart
By the morning

It's funny, like I was saying to a friend last night, it's amazing how a band that was formed before I was born, and split before I knew they existed can have such an impact on you.

Thankyou Paul, thankyou for the music. You will be missed.