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Poor Paul. I had no idea he wrestled with stuff like that.

He is the one memory I have from skipping school when I was 15 to go to a soundcheck on the 'Enz with a Bang' tour. The only thing I remember about that day is Paul, wearing pointy black suede boots, black jeans and a bright pink shirt, which he lifted to flash his stomach and chest at me. I took a photo at that exact moment. It turned out great. I wish I knew where it was.
Apparently Paul took his own life last night.

Peter Green posted this to the lists (Frenz, TiTM), but no details or anything, and asked that people not email them for a few days while they wrap their collective brains around it. He said they might have more information at some point, but for now that's all we know.

Me... my body is on autopilot, completely disconnected from my brain at the moment. I've spent the better part of the last hour or so just clicking on my usual links (ESPN, FARK, etc.) and not actually reading anything. It's like my body is going through the motions of trying to distract myself, but my brain is saying "no way".

How utterly sad.
I've been surfing for awhile without knowing, and came back to frenzforum for one last check before doing something else.

Feels like I lost a part of my family. I know the last few years of CH were hard on him, but I figured everything since was going alright.

This will be a LONG night of no sleep.

RIP Paul, we'll always have you by our side.

I was just thinking about 2 mins after typing this up ... the words we all know too well ...

"Love this life
Don't wait till the next one comes ...

And maybe the day will come
When you'll never have to feel no pain
After all my complaining
Gonna love this life
Gonna love this life ..."

I think this lyric will get us all through this, I hope.
Something else to add-already sent condolances to his family and friends, but I'd also like to send them to all the fans of Split Enz/Crowded House, too, as it sucks to lose someone from a band you love so much-like stated, they feel like family after a while and everything, so things like this are hard to take. So yeah, condolances to all of you guys as well.
I hate to say this...but i'm having immense difficulty believing it, but I think it's more of a case that I don't want to believe it. I can't believe it, it doesn't seem feasible.

Crowded House are the reason that I have a CD collection, they opened my mind to music and influenced a lot of my poetry and creative writing. They also influenced me to get an involvement in acting (although not music, it's a form of artistic expression) as a hobby.

The vivacious personality of Paul Hester was so uplifting which made the music of Crowded House so unique, not to mention his humour in interviews. Juxtaposed with that, he was also a regular guest on the radio show Martin/Molloy (Tony Martin being my favourite comedian) and also had a pivotal role on the Mick Molloy show.

I believe everything happens for a reason and I don't see the reason behind this. It has me puzzled. I feel sorrow, i feel anger, i feel emptiness and loneliness as I read the above and especially as writing this. I don't want to believe it. The madness is over.
I'm completely shocked and completely speechless. I saw Paul, close-up and full of life after the Finn concerts in Melbourne in November last year.

I was watching Crowded House video's and being entertained by his antics just today.

I'm utterly speechless.

I had no idea that he struggled with a darker side.

My thoughts and prayers go out to his family, and to Neil, Tim and Mark as well as all his friends etc.

If only he had reached out to someone...

R.I.P. Paul - and thank you.
No you probably won't see anything on any News sites for a day or so. I've asked a few of my media people to hold off for a day, as I really want Mardi , the family & Paul's 2 young girls some time.

The next few days are going to add so much more sadness to what is the saddest day, and just so everyone can have a break will make it more bearable. Myself included. Telling everyone this is exhausting, and people whom you've never seen cry in years, breaking down ...just rips my heart out.

I wish it was a hoax but believe me it's not.
Even now I still ask the same questions you guys do- why did this happen.

I spoke to Paul just over a week ago, our friend Kevin spoke to him yesterday, and there was no major depression that we were aware of. He seemed like the same old Paul, working on projects, the MAX sessions, loving playing with the Finns and hanging out with his kids....we are fairly certain that it was not a pre planned thing.

It feels totally surreal, and I keep hoping it's just some horrible dream that I'll wake up from. Sadly it's not.

We have had a lot of emails asking abouts ending flowers, as soon as I have some details I'll give you the address.

Hang in there,


If you happen to be reading this...

Thank you so much for the courtesy of taking the time to let Paul's Frenz know what was happening.

That is an extremely big thing to have done, considering how close you are to the whole thing.

Take care of yourself and know that we are thinking of you too at what must be an almost impossible time. Your diary entries and the personal contact that we have with you make it quite obvious that you feel your friends' pain as if it were your own.

I'd like to think that this is all a horrible mistake, notwithstanding that it is obviously also a horrible reality, but know that we are all thinking of you.

Do take care.

Thanks, Peter, for confirming the news, as there was still some doubt for many of us on chat clients as to whether or not the original e-mail was a hoax. It's much appreciated you taking the time to interact with fans in a time like this. Good luck with everything.

I debated whether to post the link or not, but considering it's already out there, top Australian music news website Undercover Music has already got hold of the news & has posted it on their site.

All I ask is to live each moment free from the last.

Or, more fittingly...

Now i'm walking again to the beat of a drum, and i'm counting the steps to the door of your heart.

I've just heard in the news. My brain...I can't seem to find the words. I'm just typing on autopilot, I can't even physically speak except to utter the same words over and over again: "Oh my God, oh my God."

Farewell, Paul Hester, you beautiful soul.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die.
I am so sad. It's like... I don't know... I had so many good memories about all the videos and bits and pieces on live Cds and I liked what he was on stage and on videos. First time I ever got to know about Yoga...

Do you remember the Together Alone Video? Last week we've been at Kare Kare and I told my boyfriend about it. The piggy and how they ran through the bush...

Can't believe it. Poor Paul, I hope he didn't suffer.

His poor girls.
Oh man... Another one gone...
Bull****. This can't be true... What the ****... Christ, Tonight I bought the Crowded House Debut Album ...On the drive home I was looking at Paul being sucked into the fan on the cover... What a fantastic painting... Such a talented man. "This is What I Call Love", that struck me as a fantastic song...

Please tell me this isn't true, I met him only a few months ago at the Finn Brothers concert, he was the only member of the band who came out and said hello to everybody, he was so kind... I shook his hand and thanked him for a fantastic show. I can feel it now... Jesus christ this can't be happening.

He signed my Split Enz suit, oh god... I feel so awful. Listening to "Last Day of June" doesn't help...

How can this conclusion have been jumped to so quickly??!? Wouldn't there be an investigation or something, Oh Paul...

My heart goes out to his family during this time of grieving, I feel terrible, I can only imagine how they are feeling...

I fell asleep this afternoon with his drumming ringing in my ears, and I wake to find this.

Rest in Peace Paul.
I just can't belive that,I'm totally shocked...
I couldn't sleep last night, and saw the latest photo of Paul on Dorthonions site, just thought *hey, good to know Paul is still doing well, sitting behind his drums* ...and as I woke up today finnifunny told me this terrible news.
Paul was (oh god, I have to write *he was*) my hero, the guy I admired, cause of his positive vibes he spreated. He was the only drummer I know, who didn't *disappear* behind his drumset on stage.

Hope your happy there, where you'r now, Paul.
And the reason , that made ya do this, doesn't make ya sad anymore.
You'll never be forgotten...good bye

My condolences to his family, especially to his two little thoughts are with you.
Good morning from Arizona, where I now live, and am just reading my morning email.

I really appreciate Peter taking the time, in what must be the most horrible and upsettings of circumstances, to email everybody and post here.

I'm still in shock. I can't believe it's true. But it's not April Fools Day, and I know Peter wouldn't play this joke on us. I can only think of his kids and the rest of his friends and family, and they're certainly in my heart today.

I appreciate everybody giving Peter and everybody else the time and space they need to deal with this. When Peter can, I'm sure he'll let us know where we can send flowers, cards, or donations in Paul's memory.
I'm also lost for words...

I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet Paul a few times over the years. He was always incredibly nice and seemed to be in good spirit. He even gave me his used drumsticks one time.

If I remember well he was going to get married in May this year. This must also be an horrible nightmare for his girlfriend as well for his daughters and other relatives.

My best wishes to his family and friends.
Frowner i'm so sad. i registered today because i wanted at add my chorus of sadness.

i'm sorry to say but i heard this news yesterday only several hours after he was found. someone online who worked for the ambulance services posted the news with a rest in peace in a community. After a bunch of us were sceptical and someone pointed out perhaps it is an idea not to post it til its officially released by the family, they deleted it.

before then i was in a panic and emailed the age newsdesk who hadnt' heard it. i searched everywhere and hoped it wasn't true.

i am stunned. that park is a park i've been to a couple of times as its an old area i lived in.

i'm so sad and just can't help it.

i think what is synchronistic or spooky is so many people have been picking up their crowded house records and giving it a spin, remarking or thinking about paul and here we are days/weeks later and posting our sorrow.

many condolences to paul's partner, daughters and family and friends who are going through a difficult and stressful time, particularly as now the age and have posted the news.
I found out about Paul's passing through the first phone call I recieved when I woke up and, although it wasn't the worst phone call I've ever got, it's definately up there... I just can't believe it... He's gone forever. My prayers are with his girls, left alone without their Dad. I can only hope they will grow up to carry on the memory of their father.

RIP Paul...
Crowded House drummer dies
By Patrick Donovan
Music writer
March 28, 2005

Former Crowded House and Split Enz drummer and TV personality Paul Hester committed suicide on Saturday after a long battle with depression.

A message, sent to Crowded House and Split Enz fan club email lists said: "Everyone, sitting here in the office trying to figure out what to write, we are a bit messed up at the moment. Last night, our mate, and Crowded House drummer Paul Hester, took his own life.

"Over the years Paul has swung the extremes of happiness and sadness, but none of us ever thought this would happen. He loved life too much . . . "

Crowded House was one of Australia's most successful bands of the late 1980s and early '90s. Formed out of the ashes of New Zealand's Split Enz in 1985, it featured Hester on drums, Neil Finn on vocals and guitar, and Nick Seymour on bass.

Guitarist Kev Garant, who played with Hester in the Bay of Pigs, said: "He was considered an absolute world class drummer in the pop field."

As recently as two weeks ago, Hester, 46, was at the Espy in St Kilda to appear in the SBS music quiz show, RockWiz.

RockWiz's Brian Nankervis said: "He could be everything and anything in one go. He had a lightning wit, he could be wonderfully sensitive, clever and unpredictable."
So long to a great musician, drummer, singer, songwriter, humorist, idol, friend, father, husband,etc...
Sometimes the people who seem to be happiest or most cheerful are the ones that battle the worst demons.
My condolances to the Hester family, to all of Pauls friends and fans and may we all keep are best memories of Paul Hesters legacy.
I'm more overwhelmed than I expected. As Dean said, it feels like I've lost part of my family. And as Joel said, Crowded House is responsible for my love of music --my music collection as well as live performances. I briefly met Paul once. It was in Minneapolis during the Together Alone tour. Myself and 2 friends were allowed to stay for soundcheck. Paul was so welcoming, even acknowledged the audience of 3 during soundcheck, and came over to talk to us after that. That memory is what is able to bring a smile to my face today.

See ya round,


"...when you wake up with me, I'll be your glass of water/when you stick up for me I'll be your bella bambina..."
My girlfriend and I pulled out the old Spooky Vibrations Fan Club CD this afternoon. It's a wonderful collection of Hester randomness and it's certainly the way I will remember Paul. A song like "Worms" was quite heart-wrenching to hear Paul sing. If anyone in Boston wants to get together, have a drink, and remember Paul I'd be up for it.

This is the saddest Easter ever. I keep remembering that Sheryl Crow lyric that was rumored to be about Paul. "He's got a daughter he calls Easter, she was born on a Tuesday night."

Very sad indeed.

"I'll be your piggy in the middle, stick with you till the end."
Originally posted by Billypogo:
[qb]So this is how it feels to get kicked in the teeth and the stomach?[/qb]
Ugh, no kidding. I went to the Next Exit boards, and that's where I first noticed this story-upon reading the thread title, my stomach just dropped. And then when I read the news...yeow. I was actually shaking for a while, too.

Originally posted by Martine:
[qb] As someone has already said, I wish he had reached out to someone. It's so hard to fathom for us...who didn't walk in his shoes ... the why of it.[/qb]
*Nods* This kind of situation is odd that way. Especially when you hear that they seemed so happy beforehand. It just never makes sense.
We too are feeling numb and surreal on this Easter is so sad for the kids and family...Crowded House never would have been the same without Paul. His sense of humour and timing were incredible. He certainly made us laugh on the many listens of those wonderful live recordings. Paul we hope you are in a place without pain..Rest in Peace...we love you
Jeff & Louise

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