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Originally posted by howwillugo:
[qb] It's a personally sad day for many of us, and undoubtedly worse for the immediate family. My prayers and thoughts go out to Paul's children and Mardi. Peter, if there's an appropriate way for fans to show their support to those he has left behind, please let us know. [/qb]
Exactly. However sad it is for all of us it must be far worse for them.

My thoughts are with them.

RIP, Paul.
I'm thankful for the forum. Sitting here at work learning of this news --feeling alone in my sadness. i know I am not alone.

my heart goes out to all, peter, neil, nick, tim the girls and all who knew and loved paul.

I'd just want to say how lucky I feel to have been witness to Paul's wonderful joy and energy on this earth.

May his big joyous grin light up our night skies.

Numb....that's all I feel today is numb.

I hadn't read Peter's email until this morning at work, having spent the weekend not reading any emails nor surfing the web. I know I haven't posted in a while, but I had to let everyone know how wonderful it is to come to this site and read everyone's stories about Paul. This is what will keep him alive in our hearts and minds, by sharing our thoughts and prayers.

I never got to see CH live, but in everything you heard or saw or read about the band, his wit and charm just poured through...

I have now passed the numb stage to utter and complete sadness. This is just too horrible to imagine...

My thoughts and prayers for his family and for all his friends around the world, both his personal friends and all the frenz who feel a loss.

He will be missed....
Crowded House as a band were my musical refuge during my teenage years. It was seeing the Farewell Concert on TV, and more specifically Paulo's antics at that gig that turned them from a band I liked to my favourite band. I'm sure all of you know the importance, especially in your teenage years, of that one favourite band. CH were it for me.

I joined the fan club when I was 16 or so, and ordered some fan club cds. What became immediately apparent was that on top of the wonderful songs, the sheer sense of humour the band had, Paul most especially. I tortured my friends playing them clips of Paul's between song banter (The Brady Bunch Song, Paul's "typical australian guy goes up to this typical australian girl and asks her, sheila, do you..." speech, Paul's many taunts at Neil's expense during those Corner Hotel gigs). I must have worn out my FWTTW video showing the Hessie doing Tina Turner clip.

I was listening to "There Goes God" from the Recurring Dream Live CD last night, from that infamous Newcastle, Aus 1992 show. Just listening to the man drum, sing, in full flying form. It hit me how much i'd forgotten what an absolute talent on a purely musical level the man had. As a musician, i'd always hoped that one day i'd get the chance to play with him. Paul was *the* drummer, his playing style *was* my idea of perfect drumming.

Having been trawling the news sites, checking in on the forum practically every few minutes since finding PG's email in my inbox yesterday morning, I'd become a bit desensitised to it at this stage. Then trawling the musical channels, I stumbled across them playing the vid for "Four Seasons in One Day". And it knocked me sideways.
Just checked my email and found a message "Paul Hester, may he rest in peace." And I thougt that he was finally going to release his cd with a new title.

It's so sad that he did this.........
My thoughts are with his family and his friends. Having seen the damage and anger such a tremendous shock causes, I hope that they are alright.
Originally posted by ::iarla:::
[qb] Crowded House as a band were my musical refuge during my teenage years. It was seeing the Farewell Concert on TV, and more specifically Paulo's antics at that gig that turned them from a band I liked to my favourite band. I'm sure all of you know the importance, especially in your teenage years, of that one favourite band. CH were it for me. [/qb]
Same here. The soundtrack to my late teens and early twenties.

Originally posted by ::iarla:::
[qb]Then trawling the musical channels, I stumbled across them playing the vid for "Four Seasons in One Day". And it knocked me sideways. [/qb]
I don't think I could stand to see video footage right now. Listening to the music, especially the live performances, is doing me in today.
Nick (I take it that's your name?),

Just thought I'd say how much I loved your tribute to Paul; it's the perfect style for a tribute song, & fits freakishly well with the moment we're in.

It's much appreciated you posting the link to the forum, as I'm sure you'd have quite a few downloads by now. I also admired the way you went about releasing the track, being completely uncommercial & all.

Cheers, I hope you go far with your music.

On another note: Australian fans (who really shouldn't be up at this hour) might want to check out Sunrise on Channel 7 this morning (starting at 6:00am) for more recent news on Paul.
Originally posted by DevilYouKnow:
[qb] There are a lot of Seattleites on this post....maybe everyone should get together for a drink to talk about the fond memories of Paul and Crowded House... [/qb]
Great idea, DevilYouKnow. I run a Finn-associated forum for off-topic discussion and have a 24/7 Chat Room on my site. Everyone, please feel free to come and chat. I'll be around on it at variable times throughout the day, and perhaps we can arrange a set time for a group chat? We could make a schedule for different times based on your time zone. Perhaps we can find solace in each other....

Click on the Next Exit link below....the Chat Room link is in the top box.

I've been offline this weekend and after folding the laundry this am, while listening to the "Crowded House" cd (weird?) I turn on the computer and open up myemail to over 200! The first one was Peter's and I thought to myself: "uh oh, this is not going to be good..." I'm in total shock and the strange thing is, while painting on Saturday, I couldn't get "There goes God" out of my head. And my son Sean was talking non-stop about "Paul the Chef" from the Wiggles, this weekend. (He thought it was amazing that daddy and I just saw Neil and Tim, who played with Paul the Chef in a band lol) He likes to ask all kinds of questions about him and watch the old Crowdies videos but he said to me today..."I guess I won't see him anymore on the Wiggles?" I told him "you'll see him in the videos and the tv shows" I guess Im rambling but I thought I would post this poem. It was from Linda McCartney's memorial service and I always thought it was beautiful and so appropriate:

Death Is Nothing At All

by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918),
Canon of St.Paul�s Cathedral

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
Laugh as we always laughed,
At the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same that it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind,
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner, all is well

Godspeed Paul the Chef
It's very sad. Especially for is family and friends.
I am a crowded house fan since a year. I have never seen live shows and I have never seen videoclips of crowded house. I have never known anything about paul hester. And there is only one Paul hester song that I like. But still I am very shocked. I hope that the finn brothers will play one of his songs on the forthcoming shows in the Netherlands, my telly's gone bung.
I would have like to have known you, but I was just a kid. your candle burned out long before, your legend ever did. (maybe not the right artist at the moment, but for me it's the right lyric)
I'd like to echo one of the sentiments of others and thank you all for being here sharing how you feel... it makes me feel more normal for feeling how I do.

I don't feel like I can get very far with co-workers and non-Frenz friends trying to explain how I can be so upset at the passing of someone I never met, never saw play live, but yet the music he had a hand in creating has been a constant companion to the last five or so years of my life...

I'm just not prepared for blank looks and "huh" and "Crowded House... who's that?". Not today. So thanks for being here, everyone.
I was so confused yesterday when my inbox was full of messages. And then I spent my day reading every message, every news story, every post --- trying to wrap my head around this horrible news. Couldn't bring myself to post.

Couldn't sleep last night thinking about those 2 little girls. Bless them.

It has been so incredible reading the accounts from everyone down under - all the tributes, all the coverage - I feel so isolated here in the US. I wish I could see some of the things you are all talking about. Maybe it's silly of me to think that would help it sink in.

I am so happy to see people signing in for the first time to post their condolences and lovely stories about Paul. It's not the first time I have been thankful for this community. I remember Paul making me laugh so hard at a CH show back in 94 - when he ran across the stage in between encores in nothing but his skivvies - but ran in a way that I could do better by showing you - hopping from foot to foot - his body in a position that looked like the little image of the man on the emergency exit signs in the UK.

I would give anything to be at the RAH tonight to be with other frenz listening to the music at a time like this. Someone else posted this and I echo the sentiment heartily - from the fans in the US - all we ask of people going to the show tonight is that you bring our spirits with you to support Nick, Neil, Tim and all the grieving frenz. I don't know how they are going to do the show tonight. Bless them.

Thank you Peter for taking the time to write to the fans - it's never easy to be the one who bears the bad news - especially when the bad news has affected you as well.

I believe that there is something good in everything bad. And the only thing I can find in this that might be the slightest bit good is that this tragic event caused many people to hug their loved ones a little closer today.

My heart goes out to his family and friends.

And here at the end of this post I find that once again words fail to convey...

Hello all,
I was surfing the newsgroups last night and saw a link to the sad news that some kind soul had posted. I wouldn't have known otherwise because none of the papers ran the news this morning. As Canada was one of Split Enz/CH's best markets and strongest fan bases, hopefully this will be corrected in the coming days.

I'm touched by all the kind words that others have written here (including some from other fans who I haven't seen or heard from in a while - which is a comfort to know that we are all experiencing the same emotions). As another for whom CH is part of the soundtrack of my life, I don't really have much to add to what has been said.

I do, however, want to respond to some posts where people have been angry at Paul for being selfish or making a stupid decision. Speaking as someone with some history of chronic depression in my family - it's entirely natural and reasonable to be mad at people who are suicidal, but often people in depressive states are in such huge amounts psychological pain/distress that they are not thinking in ways that are 'rational'. They can't recognize that they are loved and cared for, and that those who love them will love them regardless of what they are going through - they can be in such agony that they honestly don't want to continue living in the state they are in any more, and/or they feel they are a burden on those around them and that everyone else would be better off without them. This isn't reasonable and it doesn't make sense to us, but it does to them. So please be careful in passing judgment on Paul's decision - we don't know the specifics of his case or what led to the events, but it's quite likely that he was in such a state that he saw this as an option, even if we would not.

I just feel very sad that he felt he had to do this, and I feel bad for his family and for everyone else in the CH/Split Enz community.
heartfelt thanks for all of the messages and this forum for being a place to share thoughts and be sad, to have a chuckle remembering funny things, and to just be. reading the posts here and seeing how much paul was loved, and how much crowded house, neil, tim, and all are appreciated & adored has been the best medicine in trying to make sense of the terrible hole left behind.

ive seen many people say how listening to crowded house will never be the same again. i feel quite the opposite; the legacy of music crowded house has left will always stand for what it has always stood for in my life: love, living, happiness, a good time, harmony...and so many things that are the opposite of how we all feel right now.

<3 to you all.
I didn't know about the existance of this forum until today. And I call myself a Crowded House fan! Hmmmm. I felt that I wanted to say something, so I went ahead and joined the forum. Now I'm here, I don't know what to say!

I had switched on my PC before I switched on my TV this morning and the news about Paul was the first thing that appeared in the News part of my homepage. Since then, it's been a day of listening to all the albums - in order - and watching the Farewell To The World.

Take care, Paul. Enjoy the music session in the sky!

No one can understand suicide except those who have succeeded. With this we have an enormous loss but remember that Paul has no more pain. So instead of focusing on the loss of an exciting entertainer we should remember his antics, his humour and his innate goodness. The boys are larger than life to us, we all love what they have given to us. It's our turn to give it back. Love this Life, Don't Dream it's Over.
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain
the finger of blame has turned upon itself
and I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead
I'll Fall at Your Feet...

Godspeed Paul, may your peace find you
May you live in the souls of your family and let them shine again

love from maya
(Sorry pharmgirl. I'm sure I hit reply in this thread but ended up in a parallel universe)

This has been on all the radio news bulletins over here. A friend told me this morning. Almost embarassed not to have found it out first hand. Royal Albert Hall will probably be a well of tears tonight. Hoping in vain that next Sunday's Cork gig will go ahead but that's not too important right now. Tonight's Channel 4 show to look forward to and 'Dreaming - The Videos' has been going all day on my player.

Funnily enough my wife had commented that some suicide-inclined people tend to plan everything in advance unbeknownst to their nearest and dearest. She didn't know that he had been here in Ireland recently to see Nick. Nick said:

�The last words Paul told me were: �I love you, mate. See you in town (Melbourne) in a month�.�
And I begin to wonder.
Originally posted by AnnieMay:
[qb] I have never met you, dont know you at all so I dont quite understand why I have this knot in my stomach. Or why I have cried and cried. Like I'm doing something and I remember he's gone and I just have to look at the sky. Where are you Paul?[/qb]
My reactions exactly this past weekend. Late last night I used quite a few Kleenex, let's just put it that way.

Originally posted by AnnieMay:
[qb]I hope you were dreaming of glory, miles above, through the mountains and plains, free at last.... [/qb]
That song was running through my head all day yesterday. Very creepy. But thanks to everyone who's posted great poems/song lyrics...they really do fit this whole thing, they're just what I think we all need to hear right now.

And pfellah, hey, that's why we're won't have to worry about that problem here. It really is nice to find others out there who will get this.

Frowner Wow.Cant even think what to say here,I feel you out there.Peter and crew just has to be CRUSHED!I'm suprized at how this has hit me.I have trouble getting emotional about things.More will be revealed.........Knowing a little something about depression myself.At the risk of turning people off here let me say I have experience with this sort of thing (although years ago) myself but have close family and friends that suffer from it.One of them blew thier heads off w/ a shotgun.The other has been in and out of the hospital and I see him suffer.Again, at the risk of being alienated here,let me first say I love CH.They are a part of my life.I have seen them live more than once.I certainly have NO indication or reason to think that Paul had these issues.If...If alchohol or drug's were involved(I speak from personal experience here)please understand that this sort of thing is SO powerfull that suicide seems like a good idea sometime's.Really the ONLY way out.I only say this perhaps to offer some way of an explanation and maybe a way to help some people get thru this.I in no way want to suggest this was the case but,if was I understand a little about it.I'm in recovery myself from this stuff and it's a killer.So is just derpression all by itself.My thoughts and prayer's to thier family and friend's.
Peace, Frowner Mark
from news limited newspapers in australia

Hester's love turmoil
March 29, 2005

DRAMATIC details of rock star Paul Hester's death, and his recent split with the woman he hoped to marry, were revealed last night.
Friends told how the Crowded House drummer had suffered turmoil in his love life, first the end of his romance with the mother of his two daughters and then parting with New Zealand singer Kashan, whom he had planned to wed in May.

But 46-year-old Hester gave no indication he was distressed about the break-ups when he took his two pet dogs for a walk on Friday night.

He was found dead on Saturday afternoon after he hanged himself from a tree in a popular suburban park.

Friends revealed that Hester's two-year relationship with Kashan had ended in December after they revealed plans to marry in October. He had also split from his long-time partner, Mardi Sommerfeld, the mother of his daughters, aged 8 and 10.

But friends said Hester had been coping well despite previously undergoing eight years of therapy. They discounted that a broken heart caused the dark spiral that ended in death.

Ambulance officers who were called to Melbourne's Elsternwick Park near his home on Saturday battled for 20 minutes to try to revive him.

The officers reported Hester had "attempted suicide" and suffered "strangulation", ambulance spokeswoman Liraje Memishi said. "They attempted resuscitation but he was dead when they arrived. There was nothing they could do."

They declared Hester dead at 1.20pm. There were no suspicious circumstances.

Speaking of his break-up with 33-year-old Kashan, a family member said: "It was an amicable split, but they stayed in contact and on very friendly terms.

"There was talk of marriage further down the track, but nothing was ever formalised. There was nothing sinister in the split. She didn't run off with somebody else. They remained friends.

"Now she is incredibly devastated by this tragedy and, like everybody else, is asking 'Why?"'

Ms Sommerfeld said yesterday: "We would like Paul to be remembered as the loving father he was, and for the way in which he celebrated life.

"The family is very shocked and saddened by the loss of Paul. He will be greatly missed by all who loved him."

Ms Sommerfeld's statement was co-signed by her daughters, and Hester's father Mike, mother Ann, and sister Carolyn.

Friends who spoke to Hester in the weeks before his death said he gave no hint he was struggling with another bout of depression.

General manager of cable music channel Max, Jacqui Riddell, said she had met Hester recently to run through the next round of Max Sessions, a series of intimate concerts featuring top-shelf music acts performing live.

He kicked off the 2005 season last week with the Jack Johnson concert in Centennial Park on March 18.

"He was normal Paul when I had lunch with him. He really loved doing them," Ms Riddell said.

"Paul's passion, wit and warmth have helped make the Max Sessions special.

"Paul leaves a body of work which demonstrates not only his talent, but his commitment to live music in this country. We will miss him dearly."

Another television colleague said Hester had been approached to film a pilot for a new lifestyle program because of the success of the Max Sessions.

"When I spoke to him last week, he was his usual self, joking about mobile phones and how he still didn't understand how to use them," said the colleague. "He loved doing the Sessions for the most part and mostly he was on fire. Some days not so much.

"The great thing about Paul in that role was you may not have known him but almost everyone in the audience would walk away feeling like they did.

"And his musical background enabled him to communicate with the musicians on a very special level."

Hester continued playing after leaving Crowded House in 1994, recording with many of his Melbourne mates.

He performed with former Crowded House members Neil and Tim Finn in November. The obvious joy of the brief reunion fuelled speculation among fans and industry stalwarts that Crowded House may re-form after nine years.

Fans from Australia, the US and Europe rallied online to send their condolences to Hester's family and friends.,10117,12687070-28793,00.html
I haven't posted in a long time. I am saddened but not entirely shocked, unfortunately. I got the impression from reading "Something So Strong" that Paul was a deeply troubled person, even though author Chris Bourke never quite explicitly wrote that, it was implied.

My heart goes out to his daughters and family, as well as everyone whose lives he touched.

Were he and Mardi still together? It would seem not, as he had been engaged to Kashan, yet some news accounts have them (P and M) still living together. Does anyone know which is accurate. (Don't give me classified information, but if anyone saw something in the paper. . .)

Did they ever find the dogs? Or are they still roaming loose in that park?

I wish I could join the chorus of those stating it was his personal choice--and I can understand what he was going through a little, as I did have a bout with depression in my teens--but I can't quite forgive him for putting his animal's lives in danger like that. I can only assume that he meant them no harm and that his mental illness was preventing him from thinking clearly. It's just a tragedy, all around.
I can understand what he was going through a little, as I did have a bout with depression in my teens--but I can't quite forgive him for putting his animal's lives in danger like that
I think he had bigger problems than his pets' concerns at this time. If he was concerned about the care of his pets you can bet he had a bigger concern about the care of and the impact this would have on his kids. This isn't the place for the why's or the wherewithals. Needless to say, rationale is the last thing on the mind of people in this frame of mind. There are only a select few who can reason with them. For now, I'm glad I'm not one.

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