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I have only just heard the news, and quite by accident. I was surfing the web looking for any news on finn brother gig dates, and a link reporting the news popped up. I live in America and have not heard the news form any network or printed news publications, which kind of bothers me. I am completely numb, and in complete denial. I never saw this coming, which is the consensus with all of you. I was just listening to CH today with no idea that this has happened. I ramble, but i would like to share a story with you all. Last year i suffered with depression and anxiety and CH helped me come around, and validify my life. They instill a vast amount of inspiration in me, and in lieu of this tragedy, that makes that mean even more to me. May God keep Paul and his family. And God bless all of you.
I really feel for Ranko from Portland. It figures that you've only heard about Paulo so recently. I'm from Canada, and though we were much more familiar with CH and Enz, there was just a one off mention in the papers & on TV. When Michael from INXS passed, you could hardly turn on the telly without seeing something 'bout it. Of course since then, American TV has all but taken over Canadian Programming.

If you have even close to the feelings I had for the band and Paul, it's gonna be rough for awhile. Eventually it will get better, but the first several weeks were BAD.

Its been a few days since I've cried, which is nice. My heart is actually getting lighter ( a bit).

Good luck to you Ranko, and any others out there just finding out or still dealing.
This is my first time here but i have already read all messages.It�s been two months without him and I think about it every day.I loved Paul,I love him and I will love him.
I live in Barcelona ( Spain) and not too much news from Crowded House arrive here.
I would like to meet somebody to share feelings and news.
Thank you!
Good to know that I am not the only one!
Originally posted by Sundaymarch:
[qb]If you have even close to the feelings I had for the band and Paul, it's gonna be rough for awhile. Eventually it will get better, but the first several weeks were BAD.[/qb]
The first week in particular was really crappy for me. I was just in a bummer mood pretty much the entire time. And the late night hours...yeah, not fun.

I'm doing a lot better now, though.

Originally posted by Sundaymarch:
[qb]Good luck to you Ranko, and any others out there just finding out or still dealing. [/qb]
*Nods, sends hugs to all those who've just recently heard the news*

we can speculate all we like about paul's reasons for taking his own life, but all I know is that, I will miss him, I feel sad, but I do not feel anger towards him, whatever demons he was wrestling with, must have been awful for him. I hope now he can rest easily, I've never encountered suicide in life as regards to knowing anyone who has taken thier life, so I'm not even going to comment, that would be unfair. all I know is that the joy paul's music and humour that he brought to me in life I will still cherish, remember and enjoy for many years to come.
Not a day goes by when I don't think of Paul, he was such a treasure...Lately, I've been listening to my Together Alone cd alot, & I've been hitting the repeat button constantly on the title track, because it makes me think of Paul...

Together alone
above and beneath
we were as close
as anyone can be
now you are gone
far away from me
as is once will always be
together alone

Together alone
shallow and deep
holding our breath
paying death no heed
I'm still your friend
when you are in need
as is once will always be
earth and sky
moon and sea

The reality that he's not here never goes away, but at least we can all take heart that he'll never be forgotten
Just received latest Frenx newsletter and seeing Paul on the cover made me realise everything was true

Thanks to Paul for his humour - you kept them together - Neil and Tim thanks for the songs, but without Paul as Neil's 'straight man' CH would not have been them same

Virgin Records Nottingham, prior to Royal Concert Hall gig - Sister Madley in front of me - thanks Paul.............
You were, and always will be my favouritest musician ever. You made the band what it was. I will forever cherish the year I discovered you and Crowded House (if only it had've been earlier though), especially the memories later on in 2000.
I will never forget that very sad weekend you left- that same weekend my darling Nan said goodbye. I hope it's perfect where you both are now, bigger and better and happier than you've ever been before.
I was just thinking the same thing as Annie and Annie!

I'm not obsessed or anything but there continues to be this feeling of loss and sadness. I always seem to think about Hessie when my mind drifts off and I think about all the great music and laughs he's given all of us in his life, but also what a great guy and Aussie icon he was.
I still really feel for his family and friends and especially his daughters. I kinda feel like he's still with us all in spirit though. Smiler

We do miss you Hessie and we will treasure you forever! Thanks for all that you've done! Smiler
Monday morning March 28th alot of religious speak was going on in front of this computer.
Peter's email saying "Some sad news" oh God said I not their Dad first reaction, eyes searching down the page for the news, oh Chr*%t what the ???
How can it be? took his life ?
I was in a stupor like most others, doing the why why why thing.
Hope it helps those to reach out to others who are showmen, center of attention, the comedian, to really really talk and see how they're REALLY doing. Don't just be entertained by your friends and gloss over stuff get to the deep and meaningfuls.
I was lucky as well in having family and friends ring me to see if i'd heard the news, knowing all things Enz is a part of me.
We may not have all known Paul, but he was dear to us in our own ways.
Thankyou again to Peter for one of the hardest jobs anyone had to do.
Love this life.
cheers Kelly
A strange thought occurs to me sometimes, when I see a newborn child. For a fraction of a second I wonder if Hessie has made the return trip yet? I know many people do not believe in that sort of thing, but it's comforting somehow.

It is also comforting to see others who are not letting things slip away so easily. That tends to happen and it is sad, to forget the dearly departed and 'move on'.

For a week straight I watched Dreaming The Videos end to end, then I had to stop. I haven't watched it since... perhaps next March 26th ( March 25th where I am ).

Naming the reserve after Paul is fantastic! Way to go Melbourne!
Ive just read the announcement about some messages going missing from the boards so that would explain why I cant find the one I wrote last week.

I was just wondering if anyone knew if the naming of the reserve after Paul has taken place yet? If so, which park is it? and if not, is it going to be an official event that we can go to and be a part of or is it simply someone putting up a plaque in his memory?

Still think about you everyday Paul. Hope things are better now.

Originally posted by Nicky:
[qb] I was just wondering if anyone knew if the naming of the reserve after Paul has taken place yet? If so, which park is it? and if not, is it going to be an official event that we can go to and be a part of or is it simply someone putting up a plaque in his memory?[/qb]
It's not even been decided yet if it's going to happen. Council is currently considering submissions and will decide whether to go ahead with it or not when they meet in September.
Hello. I know that the primary topic here is not suicide, but I feel the need to add to this discussion.........

My Mom committed suicide. And I learned first hand that there is a vast range of feelings over this kind of death, and one of those feelings is anger. I felt like my Mom's suicide was something she'd done to me, that it was her rejection of me. Whether those feelings are justified or not isn't the point -- it's how one feels over a loved one's suicide. There were times when I hated her for it, but I always knew that right beneath that was the black pit of the anguish I felt for her pain. And it was infinitely easier to be angry at her than to enter into that pain....

I speak now from the distance of much more time than you have with Paul Hester's death. This is a loss, and you will all grieve for the rest of your lives, probably. But you will come to terms with it, in the sense of being able to live with it. It is a horrible tragedy. When it comes to a suicide, there are no rules about how one is supposed to feel. It doesn't work that.

Peace to all of you. I am sorry and saddened about Paul, and I do so feel for his family.

First off, my condolances to you on the loss of your mom. Very sorry to hear that *Hugs* Frowner .

Second, you're right, everyone must deal with death in the way they see fit. I personally may not feel certain reactions myself, but others still have every right to feel whatever they wish. I can't tell people how to feel, just as they can't tell me how to feel.

I havent been on the frenz page for about a year....
been busy with life I guess....

today I was listening to the anniversary cd as is my daily ritual....and thought hey,
"finally a free moment ,I better drop in on the frenz page today and see if there are any stateside ENZ/finn bros tour plans....

needless to say I read the news of paul and am absolutely sick over it...
whats worse is I never heard a thing stateside about it....

losing someone thats impacted your life in some way is sad...
hearing it roughly 5 months after the fact makes it worse.....

I saw paul on an aussie kids show that's aired stateside about 6 months ago......I was flipping channels and bang there he was joking and singing , I could barely believe my eyes !

he brought a big smile to my face that dreary winter day,
hell, I am 39, but watched the whole show hoping he'd be back on !!!!

I meant to login that winter day but got side tracked with business.

for me crowded houses stateside success was vindication, for the years of cross eyed looks and comments from friends/people that didnt understand the ENZ experience ......

I will deeply miss pauls musical presence and light hearted personality...

my sincere condolences & best wishes to his daughters, family and friends...

john, wisconsin/usa
Is anyone else out there feeling particularly sad again this week over our dear Hessie??

The past week in Melbourne has been full of many things Finn and I'm finding myself acutely aware of Hessie's absence once again.....*sighs*......

Thank you for everything's truly been an amazing week...just wish you could be here to enjoy it too.

Miss you heaps

Rest in peace

Paul's death was mentioned in "Entertainment Weekly," and I think the Associated Press caught wind of it, which lead to Howard Stern making a poor-taste comment.

I recently rented the DVD of the Crowded House videos from Netflix. Paul seems so lively on there (I loved that Catch 22 interview). It is sad to see him and think of how he died, but I'm really glad he left a legacy in his music. How many other drummers managed to stand out the way he did?
Hi frenz,
Popped back in again after a couple of months...Nice to see people tributing even now. I do hope everyone's coping okay, I'm sure Paul wherever he may be would hate to think of many fans grieving. I've started listening to the albums again, and watching a few old concerts. Thats the way I want to remember him, in classic form as a great muso and entertainer. I raise my glass again to you Paul...
I have found Crowdies, Finn, Split Enz, LLT music such a comfort since we lost Paulo.
I've had their music playing everywhere - car, house, work, walkman - all the time - its such a joy to listen to - we are so lucky that they found each other and created such fantastic timeless music.

'I've still got my Hessie star'
Paul's not left us - I can feel him everywhere'

I bought the I Like It Rare - tribute to Paul Hester CD from FOTE, it is nice to be able to contribute something to Paul's family, as he gave so much of himself to the world. Plus it's an awesome CD! The thing with music is that it evokes such emotion, with Enz, Crowdies etc we have songs for every occasion and memories to last a lifetime. It has made me treasure the simple things in life and attempt the outrageous! For that I am eternally grateful.
It's been a while since I logged on but I just wanted say that I still truly miss Hessie. Whether it's listening to a CH CD or watching a CH video, it still saddens me that we have lost such a uniquely talented, funny and respected guy.
He was my hero and although life goes on, we'll never have the magic that was Hessie. At least, with all the great music, he's never far away.
Recently got Extravagenza and been througouhly enjoying it, and have also been reading about the possibility of an Enz reunion on the Enz thread, and there was a mention of who the drummer(s) would be and it really hit home that Hessy was gone and it just filled me with such sadness and dissapointment.

What an incredible shame...despite any difficulties he had in life, of which a lot of us have to deal with, it is incomprehensibly strange and tragic that someone with such amazing potential for creativity and positivity, is no longer with us.

Personally, I have experienced some dreadful depression, which is fairly endemic of my family, and in some ways, Paul has helped me understand things and members of my family better, though of course, we wish he was still here to make sense of and at least deal with things rather than submit to them.
Just thought I'd add something to this thread, as it's been awhile...

I still think of Paul quite often, but more in passing than back in the spring & summer, when tears would not stop.

Occasionally I will see something funny on TV or even in my everyday life, and think 'Paulo would've had a laugh at that I bet'. Wink

Sometimes I wonder how his family and friends are doing as this year rolls forward. I know it sounds odd, as I only met him a couple of times many years ago, but his spirit was so contagious... Frowner

Anyhow, most likely no one will read this, so I guess this rambling is more for myself - indulge me, but if you are 'out there' Paulo, we all still miss you. Frowner
That book is really something, isn't it? I never professed to know all there is to know about CH but many things in it really blew my mind. Confused Looking back, by way of reading that book, there were things that in hindsight pointed to problems for Paul. Of course hindsight being what it is, that's always the way eh?

There were things that I've found in FF16 archives that raised my eyebrows, and sent a chill. Notably, about 2000/2001 I think, Peter wrote in passing "I read that smoking marijuana causes depression in middle aged men". It just seemed out of context with the rest of that entry, I wondered was he trying to send Paul a private message?

Back to the book, (which is awsome) there were so many professional mis-steps made (and though it may make me a pariah, Neil was often responsible for those), that it had to have had an impact on everyone involved, Paul included.

Be that as it may, the past is the past, and I have so much respect for Neil that I'll stop re-hashing...

By the way, if anyone is still feeling vulnerable about Paul's passing - don't see the movie 'Wilbur Wants To Kill Himself'. It's a good enough movie, but the one scene in it was a little too raw for me to handle.

Love, happiness and peace this holiday season. Cool

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