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I opened my email this morning to find a friend sent me a link about Crowded House. As soon as I saw it, with the last words in the link saying Hester%suicide, I burst into tears and have been crying on and off all day. It hit me like a punch in the stomach. I have been to this site before but never registered until today because I just had to be a part of this wonderful community with all its kind words about Paul and his work.

Crowded House has always been my favorite band since I first heard them in 1987 (which of course got me into the Enz too!). I loved the gorgeous music and wistful lyrics and saw the band many many times in concert. CH always was so great in taking requests by paper airplane and having fun and being loose and so many other things that made them stand apart and above so many others' live shows. But for me my greatest pleasure was watching the pure joy and fun radiating from Paul and his drumming. I often saw him switch with Neil to sing and play guitar and he just lit up the stage.

The best example of Paul and his sincerity towards the fans I saw was during a WOMAD festival outside Chicago. At this festival, it was pouring rain and all the acts from both stages had to come together on one stage. The audience and bands really came together. CH played all their weather songs and were wonderful. When an overzealous fan with a big sign ran up front to the stage, security ran to remove him. The band stopped and Paul ran from behind the drum riser to yell at security to let the man go, with Tim, Neil and Nick right behind him. This was one of the coolest things I ever saw a band do. That just shows me what a kind man Paul was. The entire show, followed by Peter Gabriel with Sinead O'Connor, was one of the highlights of my life.

The last show I saw of CH was in Chicago on the Together Alone tour when Sheryl Crow opened for them. It was amazing and went on and on with requests and encores. I was lucky enough to get into a meet and greet party after the show where I met Neil, Nick and Mark. But I will remember meeting Paul the most. He was so gracious, and looked at me with that killer smile, and just slayed me. I have never forgotten that night and now I never will.

In the words of a fellow poster, I feel just gutted today. I know I am just a fan, but after following Paul for so many years I feel connected and I am so glad to see that so many others feel the same way as I do. This is a devastating loss for Paul's family and the music community alike. Paul was an amazing gift to my life and to so many others as well. I wish he had known what joy he brought to our lives while he was still alive. I don't know how I will ever listen to CH again without tearing up a bit. I have never gotten this upset about a celebrity dying before but it's a testament to the man that he has evoked such strong outpouring of emotions around the world.

I know I have echoed much of what's already been said here but I felt compelled to share my thoughts. There are so many lyrics to quote, and they are all above. I'll just say farewell to Paul and thank you for changing my life.
If only he knew how much we loved him, how special he was. He was a fantastic musician, a great entertainer, but above all a wonderful human being. He will always be remembered for his humour, his smile and that brilliant wit.
Thank you for giving us your gift, you have touched the lives of so many people. You will live on in our hearts. Our thoughts and prayers to his children.
Love you Paul
from Dammitjanet, Kaitlyn and Megan
Today I realised that one of my dreams disappeared.

Watching Neil and Tim Finn with Nick Seymour at the Royal Albert Hall
made me realise about 5 songs into the main Finn Bros set that I would
never see the full line up of Crowded House. I always remember what
Paul Hester said at the last Crowded House concerts press conference.

Its not word for word but it went something along the line of "we'll
be bull****ting about getting together for the next 10 years"

I hung on to that comment until tonight. Realising that the hat on top
of the solitary drum kit as the other three sang "Don't dream its over"
meant exactly that.

For the first time ever I was at a gig where words failed me. And for
most of that 5th song the music just washed past me. And my dream of
seeing them as Crowded House again washed away with it.

I hope he's in a happy place and my thoughts are with his family.
I found in the words of someone posting to The Age, perhaps an answer of sorts to my question of why I feel this pain so acutely.

"I cried not for my loss, which would be selfish, but for Paul whose pain must have been unbearable."

That's it exactly. Our hearts are aching for you, and I cant even imagine what it's like for those you left behind.

Oh Paul. What a dark place you must have been in. *hugs*(wherever you are)
as a survivor of suicide ( my husband took his own life 3 years ago at the age of 32 ) i wish to relay my condolences to paul's children & family, there well be a lot of why's what ifs & if onlys that will be asked none of which can be answered.
ive read newspaper reports that say he wasnt depressed, these victims of suicide hide it well & when you are so full of anger , sorrow hurt etc & you are thinking of things that happened before the suicide to try to come up with a reason for it you sit there & think how much there were signs of it happeneing but you just dont realise until it is to late.
everytime i hear about a suicide i get shivers down my spine thinking about the people left behind , having to tell the children etc what happened I had to explain it to 5 & it wasnt easy .
My significant other woke me to tell me the news that Paul Hester had died. The only other time he has done this was to tell me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center (9/11).
While I cried, I remember thinking "Please God, let him have died from a heart attack." When it became apparent that Paul had taken his own life, I cried again because I can't even begin to imagine how much pain this beautiful soul must have been in.
I'm a paramedic, and every time I attend a suicide a small piece of me dies. My job is to help people who are in pain, and there is stuff all I can do about people like Paul whose pain is so intense that it seeps into every aspect of their lives until they know nothing but hurt and suffering.
I hope that Paul has found the peace he so richly deserved, and that he so desperately sought.
RIP Paul Hester, one of the worlds truly beautiful souls.
i don't know if i want to say how cool paul was, not after this. i am so bloody sad, amazed and shocked!, and most of all, so bloody angry, what??? paul hester dead. the words are so foreign to me, it can't be true. i am sitting here, getting myself quietly pissed listening to the Largest Living Things, over and over, thinking, maybe i can wake up tomorrow and paul wont have done something stupid, wont have totally ripped us all apart.

we live for the day, we throw caution to the wind, paul i hope you find contentment where ever may it come. you will be sorely missed. already!
What the greatest display of god damned raw talent this country (and a lot of others) has ever seen.

How lucky we were to have him for as long as we did. Little consolation to those close to him now I know.

The way out was tragic, but his girls should know just how many people loved their Dad. There is no more powerful genius than that you can create with music. The Finn's carry this on as we speak - wish you guys all the strength you can muster at this time.

For lack of better words.."All you need is love". Life is too short - make it all count.
It is a lost to the world that one of the greatest drummers has died. He will be missed by all.
Last night i was at the Finn Brothers concert in the UK and they started off with some moving crowded house songs. Tim, Neil, Nick, and a drum standing alone and light up, were up on stage together again setting everyone in Royal Albert Hall emotions alight. It was a great tribute to Paul.
He will live on in our hearts and minds forever.
We will miss you Paul Frowner
I am a new member to this forum so I feel a bit guilty that it had to take such a reason to become a part of all of this - anyway I just felt a need to express my deep sadness at the news of Paul's death. I was a devoted CH fan thruout some of the more difficult years of my life where I suffered from depression and an eating disorder. CH were such a relief for me and I especially used to enjoy the banter Neil and Paul shared both on stage and in interviews - Paul never failed to say or do something to crack you up and I truly believe that this was the greatest appeal of Crowded House - not just that their music was greatness but that they were able to entertain with spontaneity and also include humour amongst some of the deepest, heart achingly gorgeous lyrics I have ever heard.
I was lucky to see them live 4 times and it was always there live music that I enjoyed the most as you could just wait to hear a comment from Paul and a comeback from Neil.
I cannot imagine what his family and friends are going through but I hope they are able to find some relief from their raw pain as time passes by.

There was obviously a great deal of love and repect for Paul and I hope that somewhere within himself he had knowledge of this.

Thankyou for being such an important part of my life Paul - I hope that you are truly at peace now.

Always remembered.
Please, don't feel selfish if you cry. Paul Hester gave so bloody much of himself that he touched people he had never met. That is a tremendous gift that he was so willing to give to all of us. Paul gave unselfishly, accept the joy that he gave us unselfishly also.

I agree with the post on The Age - I don't cry for my loss, I cry for Paul's pain.

Please, don't feel guilty if you laugh. There were so many times when Paul went out of his way to make so many of us laugh.That was who he was, why turn your back on it now? I have been watching the special on Max, I laugh and I cry (sometimes at the same time) and it feels right somehow. Maybe that was something that Paul would have wanted, I don't know.

Laughing and crying are natural, healthy releases from the way we feel right now.
Embrace love, no matter what form it takes.

Tell someone you love them.Help them to believe it.

RIP Hessie Frowner
I have been reading the messages on this site and feel I must join in - from being an ENZ fan (it was the cool hair!)at school in the 70's to CH and Tim's solo albums - I have them all. The world is a better place to have had Paul reside here if only for a short time and we should rejoice in having heard his music. I'm off to the RAH on Wednesday and will vocally pay my own small tribute while my heart will be going out to them on stage.
i am in absolute shock and feel devastated. i found out this morning (london time) travelling on the underground, im sure the other passengers thought i was a weirdo for crying but i dont care, the world has lost a talented and wonderful human being. i dont think this lump in my throat will ever subside. my thoughts and prayers go out to all of pauls family friends and fans. i just cant believe it! RIP paul i hope you are now finally happy you deserve it.
love claire
Such sad news.
Joel said it best: �Crowded House are the reason that I have a CD collection..�
Me too, Joel� me too. This music has been the soundtrack to many significant moments in my life, which is why the loss feels so very personal.
Mixed with the sadness is a huge sense of gratitude to Paul for his contribution to that music.
Thank you, Paul. May you rest in peace.
I'm amazed at how many lives Paul Hester has impacted, and the outpouring of grief from fans world wide for this Melbourne lad. I can't help thinking that wherever he is, he is deeply regreting taking his life. Although, I hope he has found peace.

I didn't know him (wish I had met him at least once), but he seemed like the sort of down-to-earth person who would baulk at all the speculation surrounding his death. I personally don't believe that he suicided over his love life. At least his passing has highlighted the issue of depression, at the most that he was a well loved, bright personality.

Much love and condolences to his family and friends. He was a bright, shining star in the world.

"I can't help thinking of you, take this dull ache away" - The Climber
I was at the Albert Hall show last night and Neil and Tim didn't say much about it. I guess they just wanted to get on with the show and let the music do the talking. Neil said, "You know how we're feeling coz you're feeling it too." They sang 'Better Be Home Soon' and I doubt there was a person in the hall that didn't feel the emotion. Neil did say that Paul was "the best drummer I've ever worked with".

Pauls death is tragic and it made last nights gig feel very important. To see Neil, Tim and Nick Seymour on stage together the day after such a tragedy was something I'll never forget.
I have just heard, all I can say is ****!
I came back to work today with the news of a former colleague had done the same thing. I feel truly sorry for the people they have left behind and an appreciation of the situation that leads to this sort of decision. Its no use saying this now but there is never a good enough reason to take your own life, a rational person has no reason, this shows that these poor people were in need of help its a pity they told no-one. Just lets hope that we all learn from this and take more interest in those around us and not just take their word for it.
There's a hole in the river... the song won't get out of my head. I was in tears when I heard it for the first time and was in shock when I read the news this morning.

Through the thorns and the bushes I hope he was...
Dreaming of glory
Miles above the mountains and plains
Free at last

I will remember him as I have seen him playing in Utrecht and Maastricht. Ah such loss...
And a greater loss for his friends and family....
saddest day ever, very surreal the circumstances. I was listening to Recurring Dream whilst the storms were going in Perth and woke up to this shocking news this morning. They are one of my favourite bands of all time(and still are) has lost a treasure and an integral part of the supergroup. I was like all of you a huge fan growing up in Darwin with the beautiful tunes of the crowdies. Pauls drumming was awesome. Especially live. He was an even likeable and funny, witty bloke both on and off stage. He is a huge loss to the music world. icons like him are hard to ignore. Miss him massively. I was so hoping for a Crowdies Concert reuniion in Perth. Sadly this has dashed those hopes i suppose. To Hessie's Family and Friends my sincere condolences for you. Also Give a big shout out to all you fans out there. This is so unbelievable to take
Sacred Cow & Nads your words are beautiful.
We all have a common link. We love Paul! And that my Frenz is very special!
Like many people here we've all experienced Paul in different ways.
Still sitting here after 3 days in disbelief watching Max, 'In Loving Memory Of Paul' tears of sadness have not yet left me. Like many of us it's shock then you try to take it all in. I'm now up to the anger part. I've been told it's a natural part of the grievance process. I know I'll deal with it and move on like I hope we all will.
But I sit here thinking of the momories of Paul, Split Enz and Crowded House, Finn Brothers etc have given me over the years.
It started in 1977 when my Mum came back from an Enz gig at the Arkaba in Adelaide and she told me she'd seen this band and that I would love them. I was 10 at the time. Of course they became my #1 band when I tracked down their records and still are and always will be. My mum came to the concerts with me (sitting up the back while I was down the front). Now at 38 like many of us we have so many fond memories of Paul but for me one inparticular stands out. It was when he drove me and some frenz to the Mullanes gig @ The Village Green in Melbourne and then home again stopping off at the 711 for a Flake and packet of tea bags. I laugh when I think of buying us tea bagas. What was he thinking!
Always the joker under a dark cloud that wouldn't pass.
Paul, thank you for the good times and memories.
My sincere condolences to your family, colleagues and friends I pray that one day they find the strength to accept what has happened and find happiness in the memories.
Love to you all.
Frowner Like others whose messages I have read tonight, I too am a new 'member' of this Frenz website, drawn to the Internet as my only way of saying to you, personally, how sad I am that Paul found it necessary to end his sweet but troubled life. I know how he felt, believe me, and it wasn't a rational decision, but these decisions aren't.

An exceptional talent and fine human being, Paul would not have imagined the countless souls that grieve for his dear wife and two daughters, and his extended 'family'. Nor would he have contemplated the depth of loss that so very many of us are now experiencing, that ANY person could feel so desperately alone that he [or she] might go to a quiet place in the dark and end it all. Paul did not lack friends, and yet the reality of clinical depression is that we need to reach out to people whom we feel need a bit of nurturing. Not everyone who is sad is suffering from depression, but here's a site to help you work out if someone you know needs help -

Paul, you would know you leave us with wonderful memories that will never leave us. You know you have made a [good] mark on hundreds of thousands of people and brought much happiness to us all. It is not our fault, nor was it yours Paul - and certainly you would not want your family and friends to blame and punish themselves for the illness to which you succumbed. Your soul lives on forever. Your have entrusted us to hold your music and your charm in our hearts and our minds. And your memory will hold us together.

We are grateful to you for your music, and to those who made the music with you. May they, and may all those who mourn your passing, take courage and joy from what you left for us.

May we also all learn to prevent others from taking this final step. We love you Paul, and our deepest sympathy goes out to your family.
I have been holding off posting something here as I didn't feel 'worthy': growing up in The Netherlands I really liked Split Enz, but then moved to the U.S. and never heard CH or what followed. Thanks to a wonderful Powderworker (Oils fan) I became aware of all things Finn and have been slowly acquiring all that I missed. I'm now at a point where I listen to CH and/or Neil on a daily basis.
I've seen the brothers, but never had the pleasure of seeing CH. Reading all your wonderful tributes I now realize what a great person Paul was and I'm feeling the loss. He truly was an original.
I'm sorry he was in so much pain.

My deepest sympathy to his family and friends.
I met Paul in 1998 or 1999 at one of Tim's shows at the Continental in Melbourne. He was so friendly and sweet and took the time to chat, which made me adore him more than I already did - ever since that crazy night on MTV with Richard Wilkins all those years ago.

The world has lost an amazing man.

My deepest sympathy goes out to Paul's family and friends, and of course Peter Green, Neil and Tim and Nick. And everyone else out there who's feeling like I am right now.

I've had This is Massive stuck in my head for two days........

RIP Paul. We will never forget you.
Never got to see Paul live.The first CH concert I saw was at Wembley just after he bailed out.

But through interviews,live recordings and his songs his influence on the band is unmistakable.

Gonna honor him in the best way i know how.Tonight in the company of a few thousand of his frenz enjoying what he helped create.

Cheers Paul
Sleep well mate!
Those three boys just had this great chemistry going on. A collective personality that made the music come to life and won them a place in your heart instantly. A lot of that came from Paul Hester - his smile, warmth, wit, and talent (as you've all been saying).

It's a terrible tragedy and a real shock to my system. Things should never come to this. My heart weeps for his family and those close to him.

I will remember you in my prayers.
Ian McPherson

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