Skip to main content

It's absolutely shocking news and I hope the Hester family can find some comfort in the great support they are sure to receive - we are the poorer for having lost him but infinitly richer for having known him. I'm playing at an open-mic night (if there are any Bristolian Frenz then come along to the Bunch of Grapes pub) and intend to pay tribute to Paul - a version of Italian Plastic and maybe even This is Massive will be my way of honouring him.
I was saddened to hear about the death of Paul Hester. He was a great musician and seemed like such a fun and happy guy. My prayers go out to his family and his former band mates who I'm sure are suffering terribly at this time. May his soul rest in peace and his music live on.

"Don't stand around like friends at a funeral, eyes to the ground, it could have been you...Why do you weep for the passing of ages...."

"Love this life, don't wait until the next one comes...Maybe the day will come when you'll never have to feel no pain, after all my complaining, gonna love this life."
It's 5.05am here in Oz, and I've just become a member an hour ago so that I could post on this site. I've been reading these 360+ messages for hours (with a couple of fag breaks).

At tea time, I poked my head into the lounge room and just caught images of Crowded House and Paul, as the CH10 news was finishing. I asked my boyfriend why they were showing this, but he hadn't been watching and the volume was down. I said to him 'My God, maybe one of them's died', but I didn't think so really, as they're not exactly old. When I got on the web a couple of hours later, my homepage had a photo of Paul, and my stomach sank before I even read the headline.

WOW, what an absolute Shock! An absolute Shock!

I've known now for 11 hours, and I still find it hard to believe that it's true.

I have a couple of things to say which I hope might help his loving frenz:-

I've suffered from depression for many years. I finally found help 10 years ago, just after the birth of my 4th child, and have been on anti-depressants ever since. I've had lots of expert counselling and I have countless joyous things in my life. Great friends, wonderful kids who I love more than I can say, really nice house, 2 dogs, a cat, a gallah, a job that I really enjoy, enough money in the bank to pay the bills, a reliable car with air con,..... you get my drift. I live in Kalbarri for God's sake! Those of you who've been here will know what I mean - it's paradise.

But, I do get down quite often and I have twice thought of suicide. To try to describe the feeling that leads you to those thoughts would be futile, because there are no feelings at all, just a word - "STOP!"

The pain REALLY can become that bad that killing yourself and leaving your loved ones in agony is a better option than waking up tomorrow.

To those of you who think (understandably) that suicide is selfish, please think again. Almost every creature on Earth has a deeply ingrained instinct for self-preservation. Think of animals chewing off their own limbs to get out of a trap, or that guy a year or so ago using a small pen-knife to cut off his own arm which was trapped under that bouler. What excrutiating agony he inflicted on himself just so he could keep living.
Then try to imagine how much pain Paul must have been in to purposely STOP living!

And of course, a lot of people with depression deserve Oscars. They become brilliant actors out of necessity, because they don't want to be a burden on their loved ones, they are often riddled with guilt over not being grateful for what they have, and sometimes haven't got the mental energy it takes to talk about their problems.

I hope the above might go a little way to answering the questions "how could he do that when he had little kids?"
and "but he was so loved....?"
and "he seemed so happy and normal last week.....?"

This is such a sad horrible thing to have happened. Really likeable bloke with a brilliant sense of humour. I love CH and it's such a shocking, sad loss. I can't imagine how Paul's family, band mates, and friends must feel.

He was pretty wonderful wasn't he?
Hi everyone.

Just got back from the Albert Hall gig.

The first 10 mins were intense. Don't Dream started and Nick Seymour appeared with Tim, Neil and a snare drum in between them and Paul's hat on top of the drum. The tears didn't stop. They sang Italian Plastic...

I left just after the beginning of the encore (other fans please advise what tunes I missed!)....but left feeling ALOT better. Tim and Neil were highly appreciative of being there and not somewhere else where, as Tim said "They wouldn't be of any use"....

They also mentioned they were in pain but thought it was the best thing they did under the circumstances.

BTW - Thought about 'Black & White Boy' on way home - ecclectic to say the least.

My heart is in pain, and I'm numb but am comforted.

To all of you and to you Paul,


miss you.
I really can't express with words how sad I feel right now; I just found out. I sat at my computer with my hand over my mouth saying oh my god, oh my god, for five minutes before I could even move for shock. I just can't believe it. I'm too shocked to cry.

Paul, you are, and will always be, my favourite drummer. I love you!


love always,
Thanks, sasswa, for the update on the gig. I wish I could've been sounds like the boys did an excellent job for their mate Paul.

And thanks to all the people dropping by the Next Exit Chat's been nice meeting you, even under the circumstances. And great to chat about the great man and musician Paul Hester.

Originally posted by sunset swimmer:
[qb] have had some time to digest the news...and it's not sitting well. I remember one day when I was about 11 years old...riding home from school in the car and the news came on the radio saying John Lennon was mother was so upset she had to pull over. I didn't get it then. I do now. [/qb]
Perfectly put. Thank you.
I almost don't know what to say, so after listening to all the Crowded House albums i've so far managed to get my hands on (Crowded House, Woodface, Afterglow, Recurring Dream, Dreaming The videos), this line, from Tall Trees grabbed me the most.

And the roses you grow
Have a powerful scent
They'll be breaking your heart
By the morning

It's funny, like I was saying to a friend last night, it's amazing how a band that was formed before I was born, and split before I knew they existed can have such an impact on you.

Thankyou Paul, thankyou for the music. You will be missed.
What an absolute shock. I always loved Paul Hester, being he was always my favourite from Crowded House because of his funny side and antics. I can't beleive we were just watching Foxtel on Saturday on Music Max Sessions and he was doing it with K D Lang, and I thought "Ohh, theres my favourite man from Crowded House!!! And he still looks great!!" Deepest Sympathy to his family and daughters. It just goes to prove those horrible demons of the mind can affect the nicest, funniest and most wonderful people, including my step bro. Rest in Peace Paul, your music and funny antics with be with us in our hearts always!!!
I can still remember my sister bringing home the first Crowded House album (on vinyl, I'm sure I still have it somewhere). I listened to it and declared (in my youthful wisdom) "it's nothing special and certainly no replacement for Split Enz".

I couldn't have been more wrong! CH became, and remains my favourite band. Neil (particularly with Tim), a worthy successor to Lennon & McCartney and Hessie a worthy successor to Ringo.

I am greatly saddened by Paul's death. Not so much for my own loss, but for the debilitating saddness he must have felt near the end.

At work today I still feel the sadness and as I write I am choking back tears.

Paul, I hope you've found the peace you seek.
I'm a long-time fan of Split Enz and Crowded House. I found out about Paul's death early yesterday morning. For me it hit especially close to home, because both bands had been a formative influence on me, personally and musically, and because I have battled with my own bouts of severe depression, particualarly recently.

The thing about depression and suicide is that you cannot apply logic to it. It doesn't have to be caused by something specific... sometimes these moods, these downward spirals will come from nowhere. One day you'll feel fine and the next day you'll wake up (or just have it come on you in the middle of the day for no reason) and feel as if there really isn't any point in anything. The worst part is that when you're in a good mood it's easy to see the world realistically and know that at some point you'll probably wind up down again but that you'll be okay. But when you're in a spiral you can't see ANYTHING realistically and this is just going to be how you feel for the rest of your life, this is who you really are and that 'normal' person the day before is just a show you put on for everyone else and for yourself. That's why, in so many of these cases, the people around them will talk about how happy the person had just seemed, as if they should have caught some nuance that would have told them it wasn't true. But the truth is that chances are they were exactly as happy as they seemed at that moment.

I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what my point was. Just that there was a time when I couldn't understand why someone would want to kill themselves. I know when Kurt Cobain took his own life that I thought much less of him at the time. It wasn't until I experienced it recently for myself that I came to understand that you aren't rational, but you THINK you are. You're in pain and convinced you're only causing everyone else around you pain and leaving seems like the most honest, kind thing you can do. It's the worst, most faulty reasoning in the world but when you're in the middle of it it makes perfect sense.

I'm not sure if Peter or anyone else will see this, but I'm very interested in doing something to celebrate Paul's life and to raise awareness and money for the treatment of this sort of thing. When Elliott Smith died his fan base organized a series of tribute shows (various bands getting together in different towns around the world and covering Elliott's songs) to raise money for the foundation that Elliott's parents had set up. One of the shows took place here in Atlanta and my band took part in it. I think something like that would be a very constructive way of celebrating Paul. I know that here in Atlanta there is actually an organization called Nuci's Space which is a resource center for musicians struggling with depression. They're obviously not a global group so I'm not suggesting them for everyone, but in lieu of one organization I'm sure every area has something similar to help people suffering from clinical depression, and I'm sure they all require generous donations to stay afloat.

It's just something I'm thinking, trying to find some way to turn something devastating into something positive.

I would be happy to organize a benefit here in Atlanta, if there are any other musicians on the boards in other cities who feel the same way. Chances are I'll probably do something along these lines locally either way.

Anyway, thank you all for taking the time to read this.
Like everyone here, I am also in shock about is something that will leave a scar on us all for a long time. My family and I, all of us are fans of Crowded House and Paul and will miss him dearly.

With the torment of his passing, it causes me to think back over years of memories that the music of Paul and Crowded House have brought me. I don't think that Paul would want to be remembered in the tragedy of his death, but in the joy, exuberance and enthusiasm that was his life. We all shed tears for him being gone, but I am choosing to remember the good things, like the first time I ever heard "Better Be Home Soon" and thought it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard.

I choose to remember Paul bounding up and down in front of that snare while the band belt out "Sister Madly" at the Breaking of the Dry concert in Canberra. I choose to remember, those opening moments on the "Mean To Me" video, where with ABSOLUTE seriousness, Paul explains how to do yoga. I choose to remember "Paul The Chef" on the Wiggles. I choose to remember that voice, not just the singing voice, but that lovable Aussie twang whose wit brought much laughter and a few tears.

But the most potent of Paul and Crowded House experiences for me is probably like many of you. It was that November day back in 1996 where so many people gathered on the Opera House steps. Such an emotional day, joy at seeing Paul back with the boys, excitement that so many lovers of the band were there, but heartbreak at what that day meant. No-one wanted that concert to end, but when Neil started playing those first few chords of "Don't Dream It's Over" we all knew that this was it. Paul said later that he didn't recollect much at the time, that it was all a blur to him.....but for us, it was a tapestry of vivid tangible moments. Today is much like that day, the agony and the ecstasy - Pauls terrible passing and the chance to celebrate his life and achievements, the recurring dream of what Paul meant to us and the experiences we shared with him.

We mourn Pauls death and think of his family and friends. And we choose not to forget all the joy. laughter and smiles that Paul Hester brought us.

Paul, you will be sorely missed.

Sometimes, People dont realise the effect that they have on others.
I lost my parents at a very young age. I have gone through so many ups and downs emotionally, and i can say at times thr only thing that pulled my through was listening to Crowded House. These guys became my comfort, and kinda security blanket.

I was shocked and saddened to read this headline on the front of the newpaper. It is such a tragic loss.

I guess that i am not the only one who can relate Crowded house to important times in their lives. These guys saved mine.
I hope paul is at peace now, and that he knows just how many lives out there he has touched. My thoughts and prayers go out to his loved ones.

Lisa Marie
This forum is amazing. So many people with the same outpouring of emotions. I'm at work in an office with 250 people feeling like I'm the only one grieving and feeling quite isolated, but then I just went online and read some of your postings and now I feel like I'm part of this huge wave of love and sorrow.

Thanks to everyone who is taking the time to put down their thoughts. It is resonating so deeply and helping so much xx
Yesterday I'd just come inside for lunch as Channel 10's midday news was ending on TV. They were showing snippits of the FWTTW concert at the Sydney Opera House.
My initial thoughs were that perhaps Crowded House had decided to do a reunion tour or something....but then I realised they were only showing images of Paul....
I still can't belive it. I grew up listening to Crowded House and they have always been my favourite band.
I'd always had this silly hope that one day Crowded House would get back together....
Been listening to my live CDs and watching the DVD all morning. Paul will always be the heart of Crowded House. So talented and so bloody funny....a great guy.
My thoughts go out to all of Paul's family and friends.
Rest in peace mate
I sitting with my family eating lunch when I heard. All of a sudden my mum turned to me and said: 'You know the drummer from Crowded House?'
'Paul Hester, yeah' I replied.
'He died. I heard it on the news this morning. Sorry'.
'Oh' was all I could say 'I never would have imagined'. As if by some sort of cosmic fate 'Edible Flowers' started playing on the radio and I had to leave when Neil started singing: 'Who wants that space? Declare it if you dare tonight...'

Like a lot of people it's taken a while to sink in... I knew I was sad but I didn't FEEL it. But then the thoughts started: He's gone, he's never coming back and it becomes massive. And the memories come flooding back like him hugging Neil at the end on the Opera house gig and him talking about lowering his golf handicap in a 'Frenz of the Enz' newsletter. I'm going to have to get into Largest Living Things now... and Tarmac Adam for that matter.
In 88 we saw Crowded House at World Expo in Brisbane. We saw the concert with Crowded House, Split Enz, et al on the spit at the Gold Coast the year there was an earthquake at the Newcastle Workers Club. I had every film clip on video tape and every lp/ep, even the green christmas one from the club (think there was a red christmas one too). Have all these memories of Paul and how much my friends and I loved him. So sorry to see him go. I hope it has ended your torment Paul.

"There's a hole in the River..."
There are currenly 109 people here........82 guests and 27 members. I signed in and said "Holy ****!!!" That says a lot...the sheer number of people coming here to pay tribute to someone we've lost far too soon. What an outpouring of emotion.

Today, I was listening to the club CD "Taxi - CH Live in Montreal", reflecting and feeling sad. Paul sings "Italian Plastic" and "Worms" on this cd. The first line of "Worms" nearly ripped my heart out as I pondered its significance. I can't even say the words....

It's not socially acceptable to mourn someone you've never met, so I'm particularly appreciative right now for places like Frenz and OTS. Reading what everyone has to say is really helpful, though there is SO MUCH to read through, I think this will take a few sittings. The way we've all come together makes me proud to be a member of this community.

I hope Paul has found his peace. May the people he left behind find theirs as well. God bless his 2 little girls.
Wow, like so many of you I am so sad to hear of his passing. It makes me think of others I've known who have left us due to suicide. If everyone who has put a reply up here does something to help someone with mental illness, the world could begin to be a better place.

I was also quite shocked because it happened in a park where I regularly walk my dog. I had never seen him there tho. It is a lovely park, i drove past it on my way to work this morning.

RIP and love to family, friends and fans

I grieve.

I grieve not only from the loss, but out of understanding. Having once reached that moment myself of pure despair, of believing there is a void in your life so great that it can not be filled, only yielded to, I grieve because Paul was not as fortunate as I, to have the one extra moment of hesitation which allowed me to reach out and find one friend who pulled me back from the abyss, and to learn not to reach that place again.

I grieve because I know how easily his story, or mine, could have been different, and because I know we cannot begin to feel the pain of those close to him on this day.

May he rest in peace, and never be forgotten.
There's a hole in the river where my auntie lies
From the land of the living to the air and sky
Left her car by the river left her shoes beside
Through the thorns and the bushes I hope she was ...
Dreaming of glory
Miles above the mountains and plains
Free at last

We were touched by a cold wind, my father and I
The sound of desperate breathing her fear inside us all
She was coming to see him but something changed her mind
Drove her down to the river
There is no return

There's a hole in the river where a memory lies
From the land of the living to the air and sky
She was coming to see him
But something changed her mind,
drove her down to the river
There is no return

Add Reply

    All times London, UK.

    ©1998-Eternity, All post content is the copyrighted work of the person who wrote it. Please don't copy, reproduce, or publish anything you see written here without the author's permission.
Link copied to your clipboard.