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The funniest live moment I've heard was when Paul stuffs up Sister Madly
The dialogue goes as such
Nick:That was really bad
Neil:I'm sorry Paul... that was really uncharecteristic
Paul:Fair enough, 10 years of being really good than one mistake.
No no don't clap. Fair enough. It's tough up here. You've got to take the good with the bad.
Neil:Rough with the smooth.
Paul:Anyway...
Neil:The clean with the dirty
Paul:But... anyway... in about five minutes time, I won't even remember this. I don't even remember what we were doing before this. It all sound's good up the back there. What are we doing now?
Neil:Nick...

Neil than forms a whole verse around this incident!

The crowd chats are always very funny, like the Audience Trivia Time after the best version of 'When You Come'you'll ever hear.

Bono

PS Forgot to mention... these tracks appear on the Recurring Dream Limited Edition Live Album, of which is a great album and if you don't have it, I recommend you try and get your hands on one. It's well worth it.
The Fleadh 94 was funny when Neil was talking about his mother weeping about him playing an Irish festival, also about Bob Dylan. This guy shouted out "GET ON WITH IT". Neil just said "an absurdingly W*****R out in the audience with a sausage stuffed in his gob!" Classic moment.
Also at the Melbourne gi Exit Stage Left, Neil and Paul were on about this Teddy- "Maybe it has Hash stuffed up it's A*** Neil!?!"
One I think we also all know of was the Italy incident, where Neil was talking to the audience and Paul tuning his snare. In the end Neil got so irritated that he smashed his guitar onto the snare and roared
"How does that sound Paul?!" This started a dressing room brawl where Paul pushed Neil out the door to the feet of a few fans waiting for autographs. The funny thing was when he pushed Neil out the door Paul shouted "Come here!"
Truly hilarious moments:

Winterthur 1991 - the stage is right next to the bar, therefore the guys help themselves to some drinks. Nick compares the name of brewery Grolsch with the sound you make when you drink the beer. He goes on about his camping trips with Neil which leaves them yodeling "The Happy Wanderer".

I only heard about this: after being tempted by Neil all evening, Paul actually doing the full monty during the encores somewhere in the US, giving Peter Green in the audience and all at management the willies (is there a pun around here? A real stinker)

Melbourne 1996: Paul forgetting his lines in "Italian Plastic" and all that follows (see the club CD) including the new version of the song.
Neil: "And uh, whad'ya think of Nick's hat there?"
Nick: "It's a genuine Pablo Picasso hat and you'll never guess how much I got it for."
Audience member: "Five bucks!"
Neil: "Five bucks, yeah, that's what I thought."
Nick: "Fifty bucks!"
Neil: "Would you pay fifty bucks for a hat like that?"
Nick: "Fifty bucks! What a bargain!"

Uhhh... this is all from memory. but it IS funny.

And there's no way to describe it, of course, let's just say that Liam decided to turn into a true 16-year-old, began singing Four Seasons in falsetto, and did a half-strip tease that ended only after he tried to get his dad to join in.

------------------
The Magic 8-Ball is not intended for making important decisions, President Bush.
Jeremy, the club CD that has Paul forgetting his lyrics to Italian Plastic, and the band making them up for a laugh, is the Exit Stage Left in Melbourne 96'
It is a funny moment- "I bring you plates from Rome, you say they look Satanistic. You say you are on a trip, you better believe it baby." That was Nick singing that part, Neil behaves himself and sings the next verse. Mark changes verse 3 and says "I went to Melbourne, Paul, Nick and Neil were there too. They said they loved Jesus Christ and I said Thats Cool.
I think thats what Mark said anyway, it's coming from memory as I cannot be bothered to play the tape and fast forward, it is a Sunday and I am chilling out.
On the Live at the Ritz concert there was Paul telling...

Paul:I was in a Shop today Neil..somewhere near Brodway...in one of them..places shops..

Neil:yeah you where at the shop..yeah.

Paul:and then I crossed the road and my girlfriend maddie stayed in the shop..

Neil:yeah on brodway

Paul:and shes looking for somethig shes trying something on

Paul: and heard those two girls, in the shop who worked there and they sayed "did you see that guy befor that guy from Crowded House"? and the other girl goes ."Oh no where is he"? and the other girl sayed :"Oh it doesen`t matter he`s gay anyway"!

Neil:really?

Nick:about you?

Paul:she sayied "always that gay in the videos"!

Paul:No I wanna ask the good people of new york that Paul Hester akt gays in Crowded House Videos!.....

(me:hhhaaarr , haaarrr)

later... Nick: you know the girl wasn`t saying anything about your girl friend?

Paul: No Maddie just hit her and walked out...

I think this was a coooool funy moment Smiler
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dorthonion:
[QB]Truly hilarious moments:

"I only heard about this: after being tempted by Neil all evening, Paul actually doing the full monty during the encores somewhere in the US, giving Peter Green in the audience and all at management the willies (is there a pun around here? A real stinker)"

I was there that night and yes, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen them do. Sheer bedalm!
hey...

just correcting bono... from his post on the 13th October 2000...

quote:
Nick:That was really bad
Neil:I'm sorry Paul... that was really uncharecteristic
Paul:Fair enough, 10 years of being really good than one mistake.
No no don't clap. Fair enough. It's tough up here. You've got to take the good with the bad.
Neil:Rough with the smooth.
Paul:Anyway...
Neil:The clean with the dirty
Paul:But... anyway... in about five minutes time, I won't even remember this. I don't even remember what we were doing before this. It all sound's good up the back there. What are we doing now?
Neil:Nick...
it's actually Paul who says "that was really bad"
and it's 7 years or being really bad not 10.

then paul goes I won't even remember that

just thought I'd clear that up... Big Grin

If anyone wants to hear this... It's on reccurring dream bonus live disc...
I think one of the funniest live moments crowded house had was on the Farewell to thw world video when they were doing Sister Madly and Neil mucked up on the verse and Paul laughed...I thought that was good.

Another funny live moment was from the 'Back On The Bus' fanclub CD...

Neil: Have you got any business over my side of stage Nick or did you come to just wish your support?

Nick: Actually I was wishing you a very merry christmas Neil...

Neil: Piss Off

Nick: N, no Merry Christmas mate

Neil: It's not even Christmas yet...

Nick: Well, the festive season willbe upon us very soon...

Neil: You've never ever given me a Christmas Present in your life

Nick: Yes I did..I gave you a pair of nose hair clippers a few years ago if you remember...

Neil: No, no, that wasn't for christmas that was my birthday

Nick: oh, well I'm just reminding you that it is my birthday next week Neil, thank you...

Neil: So you want a pair of nose hair clippers?

Neil: I think we need something to cut the hairs on your back, Nick...

Paul: No, no way...

Nick: (laughs) A Victor mower would suit those I think...

Paul: Yeah, clip those shoulders back Nick...

or something to that extent...

was funny when I first heard it though....

another one of my favourites is on the foreplay CD...when Paulo tells every one his 'Travel tip'

but I think that might be a bit much to put up on the forum...those with this CD...you know what I mean... Wink
I seem to have this one on cd, I dunno where it's from but It's Paul trying to kill time while Neils guitar was being tuned,
it's not as funny typed but you can imaging it with Pauls trademarked funniness.....

Neil: 'C'mon Paul, keep going for just 30 seconds or so, your doing well, and my guitar is hopelessly out of tune...'

Paul: 'So there I was, stuck in a lift. Theres me and there's Bowie and Sting at some hotel, you know, and I'm a pretty shy sort of a bloke, and they're picking my brains, about how did we write that song, how did we get that sound, and could David, possibly talk to Nick about design....

and Sting wanted to know about Neils hair transplant thing!!
and all these things came out from us guys in the lift as they do between guys who have been around the bizz....

And the fist thing Sting said to me, was he asked if I had a lighter, which I took to mean he wanted to break the ice....hes a pretty nervous sort of a guy, and I said,
Gordon, Gordon.....sit down Gordy babes, your stuck in a lift with old hessy, and youve brought your mate, lil' Davey Bowie, and your both trying to impress me with your stories about your little hit songs that were years and years ago
and anyway I invited them up to my room, and we did as men do, we wrestled!'

- Sort of bizarre but it just sums up what theyre like on stage. Damn I wish theyd never broken up!
quote:
"I only heard about this: after being tempted by Neil all evening, Paul actually doing the full monty during the encores somewhere in the US, giving Peter Green in the audience and all at management the willies (is there a pun around here? A real stinker)"
I was there. It was probably one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. So off the wall and unexpected, causing it to be one of the funniest moments I've experienced.

It took place at the Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles, CA. I think it happened during the Woodface tour; my husband would better remember, and correct me if I'm wrong. It had to have been near Christmas time, because earlier that evening Paul was wearing a Santa hat. I believe it was either 12/16/91 or 12/17/91. If it wasn't then, it was one of the many times we saw them at the Wiltern.

He not only took off all his clothes, in front of us all , he then placed his underwear on top of his head! Everyone was in hysterics! Big Grin

I didn't realize that Peter was in the audience (hi Peter!), but I can imagine it was rather nerve-wracking, wondering what the ramificatons would be.

I was sure there'd be something about it on the news or in the papers the next day.... but nothing! What does a man have to do to get some attention? (haha) Wink

It was a classic moment! But then again, they had many classic moments. Their satire and banter always reminded me of that of the Beatles. Very funny! And sometimes their antics were almost akin to the Marx Brothers. They had a great chemistry both musically and humorously. Too bad it all had to go sour. But then again, nothing lasts forever, not the Beatles, not even Crowded House; it's just human nature. Frowner

I feel badly for any of you who didn't have the pleasure of experiencing Crowded House LIVE! You still have the opportunity of experiencing Neil, and you should do whatever you can to do so!

kia ora and shalom,
Kim Smiler Smiler Smiler Wink Cool
here's afew funny moments....

-------------------------------
Joan Rivers: How did you decide on the name Crowded House?

Paul Hester: It was the only one we could spell.

----------------------------------------------
Neil: When yooou ... That's not the right note. But our motto is whenever you make a mistake, do it twice. When yooou There you go, now it's an idea. Not a very good idea, but an idea never-the-less. Hello.

Nick: Gee, he's hairy. Wow.

Paul: A big hairy man. Interesting. Does he have a hairy back do you think?

Nick: Do you think he'll show us his back?

Paul: I bet $10 he has a hairy back.

Nick: 10 bucks.

Neil: $10 to the gentleman down the back, if in fact he has a hairy back. Come on mate.

Paul: If you have no hair, you will win $10. Come on.

All: Show us. Show us. Show us. Show us.

Neil: No hairs Paul, hand it over.

Paul: Skip, you know my advance.

Neil: You know Paul's wages Skip.

Paul: Will you just add a little bit on? Give $10 to the gentleman. $10 in US currency.

Nick: No, no. 15 deutchmarks.
-------------------------------------
Neil: Welcome to Tim. He's my blood. He's my brother, he's my uncle, he's my sister, he's my cousin, he's my brother.

Tim: He's my blood.

Neil: He's my blood. We shared the same womb. We were wombmates.

Tim: I don't know if I want to think about that Neil.
------------------------------------------
Neil: There's a paper airplane. I'll have to check that before I continue, hang on. Rules are rules.

Paul: This is a note, this is a note from a guy I was in a band with years ago. Years ago, there was a band, there was a band called...Soul. And I was 11 and I was with Andrew Dorsyth and Paul Ferrari. And uh, we had one gig and we broke up. But it gave me more time to concentrate on my writting. And um, I got in the next band which was called Thunder. We did a few gigs way out in the bush there, and I had the misfortune to make love to a young girl after the first gig I ever did with Thunder, and uh, she was a policeman's daughter and I got arrested. So I left the band which gave me more time to concentrate on my writting. And I went back to see Andrew Dorsyth and Paul Ferrari to see if they would take me back into Soul, but Andrew had decided to write a book. He was a hairdresser. Andrew decided to write a book about the band and his life as a hairdresser stroke lead guitarist and he called it Conditioner. And it was later bought by Hollywood and turned into a screenplay called Shampoo and Andrew Dorsyth's life was played by Warren Beatty, and if you've seen the movie, Goldie Hawn is loosley based on me. Thank you.

heh, heh.... Razzer

J'aime la Maison Encombr�e
What about the guy (Sean?) in Dublin in 1992 who decided not to throw up the regulation 'paper aeroplane' onto the stage, but threw up his Kidney Donor and Order Of Malta cards instead. Or the guy who sent Nick a paper aeroplane with his phone number on it, which prompted Paul Hester to make some very naughty suggestions.... Wink Razzer
One of my favourites comes off one of the It's Only Natural singles. Working from memory here, but I think it is Nick who comments on the likeness between their manager, Skip, and the image on their stage backdrop. They try to coax Skip out on to the stage. Neil says something like "Come out here. Show us your pouch. Show us your little Joey." When Skip eventually does appear, they shine a light on him and the backdrop to show the simularity. Nick cries "A beauuuuuuuuuutiful man!" and Neil very drily says "Yeah, piss off now baldy." Class comedy.

Something like that, someone else can type it up exactly if they like.
this is a split enz one but i thought it was pretty good, and it just came into my head the other day:

at the "final" split enz concert in Auckland in '84, Tim was referring to the so-called rivalry between him and Neil. Then he said something like it was time for them to have a fight on stage. Neil looked a little uncomfortable and just stood there, as if he was willing Tim to change topics.

But Tim had this mischievous look in his eyes and said so perfectly, and so smugly, "You've always been a little sh*t Neil!" Everyone started laughing and when it had died down, Neil responded beautifully with, "The only thing worse than being a little sh*t is being a big sh*t", in a not-so-subtle reference to Tim. Priceless.
quote:
i have a question about the recurring dream live CD.. why does Neil says "Nick"! ??
My guess is that Nick is playing a nice little groove whilst Neil & Paul are talking about the Paul mistake, and Paul is drifintg into his "in about 5 minutes time..." haze. Neil says 'Nick' to get him to stop playing, so Neil can start back into 'Sister Madly.' I think he was trying to stop the madness & get back into the song before it was all hopelessly lost.
A wee story for you.

At a concert in Glasgow's Concert Hall in November 1994 (?), one of the roadcrew appeared on stage. He had a Scottish surname (can't remember it now) and we all cheered. Neil advised us this guy was nervous as he never knew his father and it could be one of us in the audience!

However, given that us Scots keep getting labelled as being a wee bit tight with money, Nick decided to add "Yes...and whoever you are you owe 25 years child support money!"

There was a moment's stunned silence until Neil said "Come on, you're Glaswegians...you're not going to stand for that?!!" This was met by a hearty "F*** off!" from the audience.

Classic moment!
How about one of the famous London Hamersmith Apollo (odeous Odeon) gigs when I remember half way through the gig Paul asking Neil if he could go to the toilet as he was bursting. After he left the stage Neil took over the drums and the band started a new song. A relieved Paul then returned taking up centre stage.
During "I Got You" at CBGB's in 1987, someone (Paul or Nick?) starts echoing Neil's words in a bit of a creepy whisper, which culminates in Paul answering the last line in the sequence. It took me by surprise the first time I heard it.

Neil: There's no doubt
Other voice (whisper): There's no doubt
Neil: That when I'm with you, when I'm without
Other voice (whipser): When I'm without
Neil: I stay in my room (laughing, he says: do you want to finish the song off?). Where do you go?
Other voice (whisper): Where do you go?
Neil: I get no answer
Other voice: No answer...f*ck off!
Neil (laughing): You're always out.. it gets on my nerves.


You can hear the audience laughing at the same time that Neil laughs following the "no answer...f*ck off" comment.

This is my absolute favorite live moment! My husband loves it, too. Every time we hear it, we both burst out laughing!

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