Hope no one minds this but...

It's another year on and it's still hard to grasp...accept. I barely knew Paul at all. Mostly it was through music and his personality I would see in interviews/videos. I loved his FU attitude! I could totally relate. And then he had his sweet/caring/nurturing side, too. I can relate to that, too. So, I felt some connection.

Then I met him at a show. He was fun, friendly and accommodating. The next show I saw him, before soundcheck, from a distance. He seemed sheepish and went straight indoors. Neil was still out and I asked him, "Is Paul ok?" Neil replied, "Oh, he's just not feeling well" It was a killer show and as it turns out, Paul's last one with CH. I found out via radio (remember those days?!) two weeks later. I was wounded! ... But not like the morning of March 26th, 2005.

I was sad, I was pissed, I wished I could have helped, I didn't understand...

With time, the pain has subsided. It comes and goes. The lack of understanding gets more educated. There's no rhyme or reason to emotion. I'm just glad I was in a lifetime where Paul was there playing some kick *** drums, giving two fingers up to cameramen, hugging his mates tighter than ribs should probably allow, lol, and speaking with such a gentle voice.

I'm missing him hard today, and prolly will until the day I die 💜

"i don't feel pathetic" 🎵

I never met him (but saw him play several times, fortunately). It was his personality as much as the band's music that made CH my favourite band. His passing still saddens me so much. I can't begin to think how it must feel for those who knew him. My heart goes out to them all.

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