Thanks for the comments, glad you all seemed to enjoy it. That one is a lot older than the other two, it dates from mid 1999. My voice is on there, but not the recognisable voice, that's the other half of White Elephant. My vocals are the lowered pitch vocals that simply say White Transit Van.
Hexed, you are very close to what the piece is about, you just need to get a lot more sinister than just bound in duct tape in the back.... Thee's an earlier demo where the full story is revealed, but I wouldn't want to shock you all.
Pear shaped, it's an English expression meaning when it's all gone wrong. Seems to be frequently used in British cop shows (like the Bill, The Sweeny etc..)