before i even read this last post of yours, i wanted to assure you that i in no way meant to dismiss or undermine your experience.
i'm sorry you've experienced all that hell.
and, like i said, some find pre-nups to be more beneficial than others. obviously, you'd find more solace in that and i commend you for standing your ground.
i guess, in general, one quick thing i'll say is, in light of all that goes on with such huge life-altering decisions like marriage or divorce or having kids, one thing i try to keep close at hand is the notion of following one's own heart. be intuitive. if you do that, no matter what happens, everything else will follow. i know james disagrees with me on this, but i think everything happens for a reason. and even if it seems things are headed for the worst after you've heeded the advice of your gut, have patience. things will eventually come around.