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Reply to "The Things that my Boyfriends/Girlfriends taught me..."

Cool - I'm doing my own quesadillas too!

I hear what you're saying, and I like the sound of your courts in that they seem to possibly be based on facts and fairness. You don't get much of that in NY. Smiler

As for bad faith, that is what it is, but if I HAD the document, I could say HEY - try this stupid strategy, and when it fails, you're stuck anyway because I have a signed contract with you. Courts will take that seriously, and it will apply. Plus, my whole family are lawyers, so you'd betta believe the document will be awesome and the litigation would be nicely done.

I know it seems that prenups are for celebs marrying back woods people Smiler , but the reality is that like I said, it's really just insurance against "what if this person isn't who I think he/she is." If mine were who I thought we were and we split, he would not only want me to have my own things, he would help take care of me now that he makes more money than I do. But he's spent 8 months trying to get money from me and playing all kinds of unattractive games. Could a document have stopped that? Maybe! Can the document save someone else from that? Maybe! I sure hope so.

Divorce laws here in NY are very odd, but if you have things in writing, they are taken damn seriously. And again, I really just wish I had a doc that cleanly gave me my OWN possessions (instead of having to bargain for them) and made him 50% aka jointly responsible for debt no matter in whose name the debts are. He helped run them up on the promise that one day he'd make enough to help pay them off, I'd like to see him follow through on that. Instead, he's claiming that our marital agreement was that I pay all the bills forever and his money is for fun.

Can ya see why a nice legal document could have helped me and can help someone else? Smiler Someone switched the rules in the middle, didn't tell me, I got hurt because of it, and I just wish I could save even one more person from this. Pleb or not, it's something that didn't have to happen if we had put down on paper what we REALLY said way back when I picked up more of the bills than my share.

Smiler
Deb

ps: Yes, you make good points that who knows what the future brings. 1) You can change the prenup and append it or redo it, stating that this document supercedes all previous ones. 2) I just want one that says my things are mine, his are his, and the debts and assets are split 50/50. The future could hold all kinds of things, and that would still be a very fair document. Smiler
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