well, each person is going to have their own experience, no duh. i won't comment too much on the pre-nup thing because i know the person i'm going to marry inside and out, and i would probably wait until i am absolutely sure and free of doubt about our future together.
it's just a matter of time now. and immigration hooey. heh.
i can't say i've had too many relationships, but the few i've had have been intense enough to leave me with some lessons.
first boyfriend was Joe. we were 17, we were high school seniors. shortly (very shortly) after we got together he received his acceptance letter from Boston University. he was all set to attend Pepperdine (here in southern california) when this happened. he came upon a benefactor (a family friend) who offered to pay for his education since his parents divorced and couldn't pay for his schooling without some financial hardship. in total, we were together for about a year and 8 months. he would spend summers and christmases at home and we'd make time to see each other. i was painfully aware of how much/little time we had together and it put a strain on us. i was very naive and insecure at the time and i was afraid that he'd leave me for someone. and then he did. but it wasn't planned that way. he did feel awful, for what it's worth. i kind of saw it coming. as a firm believer in karma, i wasn't terribly surprised when his then girlfriend of 2+ years left him for her english professor. she was a bit callous about it too. joe and i have been speaking on and off. we're friends now. in fact, i'm going to photograph his younger sister's wedding in a couple of weekends. it'll be the first time i see him in about 5 years. do i feel weird about it? nah. we started out as friends, so it would kind of suck to lose the friendship altogether, i think.
second relationship was with renee. i didn't expect to fall for a woman as hard i as i did, but there you go. i had a mad crush on her. what made me happy is that it wasn't unrequited. but she wasn't relationship material. i realised after about 2 months that she wanted a more open relationship than i was willing to give. so we went our separate ways, in so many words. to make a long story short, she cheated on me and we broke up shortly after.
i started talking to james when i was with renee. as so many people do, james and i struck up a friendship fairly quickly. it was restricted to electornic means, as he's in australia and i'm not. we poured our guts out to each other, sharing a hatred for long-distance relationships and a love for all things sarcastic and biting.
it's ironic that we agreed to never get together because of distance. a few days later we decided to take a risk anyway and we've never looked back since. our 2-year anniversary is in a few weeks, and he'll be here to celebrate it with me.
and i'll hopefully be moving to australia to be with him by early next year.
after my break-up with joe i took some time off. maybe two years or so. just time to grow and develop and get to know what it is i want. i can't stress enough how important Me time is. the more comfortable you are with yourself and your ability to decide for yourself, the better off you will be choosing someone who is compatible with you, and the less likely you are to lose yourself in someone else. (this is not bragging, just an example) my boyfriend says that one of the things he finds most attractive about me is my self-confidence. i'm comfortable enough with my life to share it with him.
When someone truly loves you, they will walk over hot coals to be with you.
either that or they'll spend thousands of dollars and fly thousands of miles to be with you.