Sweetman speaks/writes with such authority. Who gave him that authority? So he was a drummer in a band, whose lead singer can't even stay in key:
I could help him shift some of that flab, my wordy lordy yes I could! I can make The Biggest Loser look like a retirement village! This bitch bites!
Can I have another piece of chocolate cake?
Simon Sweetman, he could sure lose some weight!
There, I said it, fat boy, come and get me!